Caroline Duddridge: Why I charge my entire family for Christmas dinner... even my grandchildren

Christmas, they say, is the season of giving and goodwill, and I’m no exception to the rule.

As a 65-year-old mother of five and grandmother of seven, I pull out all the stops to host a perfect family Christmas.

I’m talking hundreds of pounds worth of food, festive decor and presents galore.

Those letters to Father Christmas may be addressed to the North Pole, but somehow they manage to find their way to my home in Cardiff each year.

But there’s one detail about my perfect festive get-togethers that might make your toes curl.

I charge my family to come and eat their turkey dinner at my house every year.

Why? Well, as miserly as my choice might sound, I’m a retired pensioner and the cost of it all takes a big chunk out of my £1,000-a-month (AUD$2000) pension.

The outlay just for the food usually matches my normal £300 (AUD$600) monthly food budget, just for one meal!

I don’t ask for contributions towards the cost of the electricity (although perhaps I should now I’ve lost my winter fuel payment!) but I genuinely believe that in this day and age, it’s only fair that us baby boomers get some financial help from our offspring.

And it seems I’m not alone: 46 per cent of Brits will be asking our guests to contribute towards food and alcohol on the big day, according to a recent survey by MoneySuperMarket.

Yet though you might see such behaviour as positively Grinch-like, what I’m charging them won’t even cover half of the cost of cooking for 13 people, it’s just a contribution to relieve some of the financial strain on their poor mum.

I’ve calculated a cost for each person depending on their age and how much they eat.

Two of my three daughters, who are aged 39 and 34, are coming and will each pay £12 (AUD $24).

My sons, who are 36 and 26, will each pay £15 (AUD $30).

The three older grandchildren, aged 14, 12 and 11, will pay £10 (AUD$20), while the five and six year olds will be charged £6 (AUD $12) (though I don’t charge the nine-month-old baby yet).

They did all they could to wriggle out of it, asking if they could defer to next year or pay less because they don’t eat meat.

That comes to £96 (AUD $192).

I don’t expect my son-in-law to cough up this year because he is providing the alcohol.

My children had the gumption to ask me to keep the receipts to prove I’m not profiteering – I expect their mouths to drop when they see how generous I’ve actually been!

Food is expensive and there’s no getting away from the rise in the cost of living.

The average price of a Christmas dinner for four is up 6.5 per cent on last year to £32.57 (AUD $65).

And I’m cooking for many more people than that.

I was left with no choice but to start asking for contributions when my husband died of pancreatic cancer aged just 67 in 2015.

As a widow already winding down my hours as a primary school teacher, it seemed ridiculous that I was expected to provide for my grown-up children, all in well-paid full-time jobs.

That first year, I merely mentioned to the children that I was setting up a kitty so I could start stocking up on Christmas food.

I left a jar in the kitchen and asked them to drop a few pounds in as and when they could.

I waited… and the jar remained empty.

So the next year I changed my strategy, and asked each of them directly to transfer funds to my account by December 1.

They did all they could to wriggle out of it, asking if they could defer to next year or pay less because they don’t eat meat.

One, a teacher, asked if she could pay in instalments of £2 (AUD$4) a week!

Yet they wouldn’t have tried it on if we were going out to a restaurant, even though that’s much pricier.

While my children might not have been happy about it, a lot of my friends are grandparents, too, and not only did they applaud me for my choice, they started doing the same themselves.

As a granny you spend your life being financially supportive to your children and grandchildren, even long after they’ve left the nest.

The kettle is always on, the snacks are always ready for whoever pops in, and gifts are always expected.

Rather than kicking back and enjoying my retirement years, I’m having to do supply teaching to boost my personal budget, which I fit around caring for my grandchildren – which I charge my kids for, of course.

Besides, what would they all do without me for Christmas lunch?

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been a widow for a decade and I don’t take my large, close family for granted.

But do they take me for granted? Sometimes I do wonder.

On Christmas morning my alarm goes off at 6am, and by 7am I’ll be in the kitchen getting the turkey in the oven.

Over the next few hours I’ll be toiling away while the others enjoy a lazy morning.

Every accompanying dish has to be timed to perfection so all of us can sit down together for a turkey lunch at 1pm.

Once everyone’s full, we all muck in together to clean up while the children play with their new toys.

The last family member is usually gone by 7pm.

My late husband would be proud of my financial acumen and for organising Christmas Day this way.

By then I’m exhausted and just want to lie down in a darkened room!

I’ll do a buffet on Boxing Day (my treat!) and I’ve always got a bit more on hand if needed.

After all, the biggest faux pas you can make at Christmas is to run out of food.

While I don’t like to think that I make a profit out of my children, there usually are leftovers, including vegetables and turkey.

I’ll make a curry with them, pop it in the freezer and have it after Christmas.

The way I see it, I’ve deserved it.

My late husband would be proud of my financial acumen and for organising Christmas Day this way.

During the decades when he was alive we’d go all out for the festive season.

My parents, my grandmother, even my sister and her family would join us.

For years it wasn’t unusual for there to be a dozen of us squeezed around the table.

I’d be frazzled but happy at the end of it… but I had more money and more energy back then.

My partner Dean, a retired police officer, not only thinks that charging my family is a good idea, he’s been urging me to increase the price next year.

I probably will if I’m doing it again.

As the grandchildren grow up though, I know (or rather hope!) that eventually my children will want to do their own thing.

Each year I wonder if it will be the last time we’re all at mine.

Maybe next year one of them will be enterprising enough to start hosting.

Maybe then, I’ll be the one paying them.