Five signs you need a sleep divorce — and more tips for a good night’s rest

We’ve spoken to different sleep experts about what they do to get the best sleep, when it’s time to try something like a sleep divorce and even which supplements — like melatonin and magnesium — might be helpful and more effective.

Here are some of their top tips for getting a good night’s rest.

1. Consider these 5 signs you might need a sleep divorce

A sleep divorce is not as drastic as it sounds. It simply means sleeping apart from your partner, whether in separate beds or separate bedrooms, to get the best sleep, Shelby Harris, a licensed clinical psychologist and director of sleep health at Sleepopolis, told Make It in 2022.

“I actually recommend that couples sometimes do this, and it doesn’t mean that their relationship is in trouble,” Harris said. “It just means they’re actually valuing their relationship and their health as well.”

You may want to consider a sleep divorce if you, and/or your partner:

• Snore loudly
• Have different sleep patterns/schedules (early bird vs. night owl)
• Move a lot while sleeping
• Are a light sleeper or find that alarms interrupt your sleep
• Have different preferences when it comes to temperature of the room, bedding, etc.

Harris suggested trying to problem-solve first to see if you can sleep in the same bed peacefully. And if you decide to implement a sleep divorce, make sure it’s a mutual decision presented respectfully and that your sleeping arrangements are similar (not one partner sleeping on the couch while the other sleeps in a cozy bed).

2. Try a sleep expert’s bedtime routine

Dr. Richard Schwab, chief of the division of sleep medicine at the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine, shared his sleep routine with Make It in 2022.

“I think the most important thing in terms of what I should do for my sleep is go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time, each day,” Schwab said.

His preferred sleep time is 11.30 pm and he usually wakes up at 6.30 am.

Schwab also determined through trial and error how many hours of sleep he needs each night. “I need about six or seven and half hours of sleep, and if I don’t get that I’m going to be sleepy,” he said.

To get optimal sleep, Schwab recommended setting the ambience in your room by making sure it’s your preferred temperature and light exposure. He also got a larger bed to accommodate his wife and children.

3. Make these simple changes if you’re a night owl with a 9-to-5 job

“We all have a slight genetic orientation to one of two types, either being a morning person or an evening person,” Rebecca Robbins, an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School’s Division of Sleep Medicine, told Make It in December of 2023.

Yet, the common 9-to-5 work schedule of many jobs just doesn’t align with the internal clocks of night owls, and that can be difficult.

Here are seven ways that Robbins suggests thriving at work as a night owl:

• Head outdoors and get enough sun exposure during the day
• Avoid caffeine in the afternoon
• Aim to follow the same sleep and wake time daily
• Use blue light devices like “happy lights” at work
• Workout in the morning
• Get certain things done in the evening like passion projects
• See if you can change your work schedule

4. Remember melatonin is a bit more effective for sleep than magnesium

Two popular supplements touted for prompting sleep are melatonin and magnesium, but of the two, one is more effective, according to licensed clinical psychologist Shelby Harris.

“Melatonin is the most common natural sleep aid that can help gradually shift the body’s circadian rhythm when taken properly,” Harris said in February.

“Before taking magnesium or melatonin for sleep, it’s important to establish proper sleep hygiene and habits.”

These are some suggestions Harris shared for developing good sleep hygiene:

• Stick to a consistent sleep schedule
• Relax before you plan to go to bed
• Stay off of your electronic devices directly before bedtime
• Don’t drink caffeine at least eight hours before sleeping

This “can all be helpful in enhancing your body’s natural melatonin production, thus making it easier to fall asleep.”