CNBC: Here are five tips to curb the common habit of overthinking

As a clinical psychologist, I’ve spent 14 years teaching people how to regulate their emotions and cope with difficult situations.

One of the biggest issues my clients struggle with is overthinking. It’s an exhausting habit that can turn a stressful challenge into even more anxiety. Here are five things I do when I need to stop overthinking everything:

1. Recognise when I tend to overthink

The first and most important step is pattern recognition.

What times of the day do you get lost in your worries? Do you notice physical signs, like clenching your jaw? Are there negative themes that come up again and again in your head?

Then reflect on when you are less prone to rumination, even when something difficult happens. You might worry less when you go to the gym after work, or when you listen to a funny podcast on your commute.

Arming yourself with these details can help you be prepared with strategies as soon as you notice the warning signs.

2. Get some distance from myself

A big reason why overthinking when you are upset backfires is because it immerses you even more in whatever you’re going through.

The next time you notice yourself sinking into fruitless rumination, try to see the bigger picture. This strategy is called self-distancing.

Observe whatever difficult experience you are ruminating about as if you were a fly on the wall, rather than directly involved. Taking a step back can provide the perspective you need to feel like you can change the channel.

3. Swap ‘why’ with ‘how’

The simplest way to replace negative thoughts with more constructive thinking is to shift from asking “why” questions (“why me?”) to “how” questions (“how can I move forward?”). Notice the difference: “Why” is a dead end, while “how” leads to action.

If you went on a date, for example, and the person didn’t message you after what seemed like a great time, rather than ponder why, focus on how you can create a relaxing night for yourself.

By doing this, you consciously shift from unproductive ruminating to empowered planning.

4. Write it out

When you need to process your feelings or an experience, instead of overthinking, practice expressive writing.

Try this exercise over the course of three days:

• Day 1: Spend 15 to 20 minutes writing about the stress and trauma that is plaguing you.
• Day 2: Write about how the experience has affected you.
• Day 3: Describe how the experience relates to your current life and what you want for the future.

This practice has been shown to help reduce symptoms of depression, even weeks or months later. Researchers say it’s because writing can help you go deeper into your emotions, while also creating some distance and an end point.

5. Reschedule overthinking

To make your overthinking feel less compulsive, consciously postpone it until later. Give yourself 10 minutes to ruminate about a problem at 7pm every night, then move on.

Another bonus is that there’s a good chance that you’ll get so caught up in your day or evening that you’ll forget to return to your worries at the appointed time. When you are conscious of them, you’ll be able to see your thoughts with more perspective.

You want to avoid the debilitating all-day background buzz of rumination. Instead, turn your overthinking into something more contained, and give yourself some freedom and power back.

Jennifer L. Taitz is a licensed clinical psychologist and the author of Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from New York University and earned her doctorate in clinical psychology from Yeshiva University’s program at the Albert Einstein School of Medicine in New York.