‘I could hear my baby’: Former SASR Warrant Officer reveals interrogation training trauma after losing newborn

WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT

The crying started inside a shipping container.

The soldier had been forced into a stress position, exhausted after more than 24 hours without sleep and a forced march through rough terrain.

Loud music blared through speakers. Then another sound cut through the noise.

“The other noises were of babies crying,” he recalls.

Five months earlier, his infant daughter had died.

Brad, who grew up in Western Australia, had wanted to join the Australian Defence Force for as long as he could remember.

At 16, he walked into an ADF recruiting office in Perth determined to join.

In 1994, days after turning 17, Brad arrived at Kapooka, NSW to begin training. It was the beginning of his 28-year military career.

After his initial employment training, he was posted to Townsville and then Sydney. By then, he had set his sights on something bigger.

After five years in Sydney, he applied for selection to the Special Air Service Regiment — the elite Special Forces unit widely regarded as one of the most coveted postings in the Australian military.

SAS selection is notoriously gruelling, with only a fraction of applicants completing the course.

Brad attempted selection at the start of 2004. He passed.

The next stage was an 18-month Reinforcement Employment (REO) cycle designed to prepare them for operational service within the regiment.

There was mention of having to undertake Resistance to Interrogation training.

The course, run by the ADF’s Intelligence Corps, was intended to prepare soldiers for the possibility of capture by enemy forces.

“We received one or two lessons in relation to what to expect during RTI training, but they did not go into detail,” he said.

“The training was basically just to give the ‘big four and no more’.”

Brad left the lesson with a clear takeaway: “That I did not want to be captured.”

Brad’s revelations came after The Nightly exclusively revealed this week the Defence Force Ombudsman awarded $2.9 million for physical and psychological harm to 59 veterans who went through the training.

Later that year, Brad’s life was turned upside down.

In September 2004, his beautiful daughter was born.

“She was a healthy baby,” he said. “At six weeks old she was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1, a terminal condition.”

“I immediately stopped my REO training cycle to stay at home and assist with her palliative care. Our daughter passed away at three months of age in late December 2004.”

Within weeks, Brad returned to the regiment, throwing himself into work to escape the weight of his grief. Within months, he was directed to undertake RTI training.

In May 2005, SAS recruits travelled to the Intelligence Corps’ purpose-built interrogation facilities at Canungra, in the Gold Coast hinterland.

The training began with an exercise designed to induce fatigue.

“We were forced to march over rough terrain for about 24 hours,” Brad said.

The soldiers were then loaded into trucks and driven to a nearby compound.

“A group of men in balaclavas, with aggressive military dogs, were yelling and screaming at us,” he said.

“Some of my colleagues started to fight back; however we were then told that we were not to resist.”

They were ordered to lie on the ground before being restrained. Hessian bags were put over their heads.

The trainees were forced to navigate a series of challenges to disorient them before being separated into smaller groups for individual processing.

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Brad says the “processing” stage was designed to “destroy our dignity”. He was stripped before female staff attacked his “masculinity and sexuality”. Afterwards he was given a hospital gown, earmuffs and a blindfold.

“I was then dragged into a shipping container and seated on a hard, plastic mat,” he said.

“I was placed in a stress position and was told not to move.”

Brad had been awake for days when he was put into the shipping container.

“There was loud music interspersed with other noises,” he said.

“The other noises were of babies crying. There was also a children’s song being played on repeat.”

Brad was severely sleep deprived and his mind started going to “dreadful places”.

“This was the first time that I had been left alone with my thoughts since my daughter had died,” he said.

“I had done everything I could to keep my mind busy and not think about her death.

“When I heard the baby crying, it triggered me. I started seeing and hearing my baby daughter.”

Distress quickly overtook him.

“I started to panic and couldn’t control myself,” he said. “I then started having a major psychotic episode.”

Brad ripped off his goggles and earmuffs, and ran from the container in distress as guards tried to restrain him.

“I wasn’t having any of it,” he said. “I ran out into the courtyard and was trying to find some way to escape.

“I was beyond distressed. I was breaking down.”

The guards appeared unsure how to respond.

“Despite me saying that I needed to see a psychologist, the guards kept on saying that I just needed to go back into the shipping container and they would get me help,” he said.

“I refused and maintained that I needed to see a psychologist. They instead took me to see the senior officer who was running the training.”

His response stunned Brad.

“Are you sure you don’t want to continue with the training?” the Intelligence Corps boss asked.

Brad “couldn’t believe what I was hearing”.

“I told him that I needed to see a psychologist because I was in trouble,” he said.

He later told a psychologist the sounds had triggered hallucinations of his daughter.

“I told him I couldn’t deal with it and couldn’t go back into that environment,” he said. Brad felt judged.

“There was no direct withdrawal from RTI training,” he said.

“It was mentioned that if I withdrew, I would have to re-do it at a later date.”

Eventually Brad was sent home alone, waiting hours at the airport before flying back to Perth.

“I felt shame, remorse and guilt. I was in a dreadful state,” he said.

“I assumed my career was over as I hadn’t completed the course.”

When he returned home he struggled to leave the house.

“I became a hermit,” he said. “It wasn’t until one of the officers from the regiment came to see me that he understood what had occurred during my training.

“He told me that the regiment was supportive of me. However, no-one ever apologised for putting me on that course.”

Brad spent months in therapy with an external psychologist before returning to work. By the time he left the ADF, he had risen to the senior rank of warrant officer.

He says the interrogators’ conduct should not have been tolerated.

“If my men in SASR behaved the way the Intelligence Corps did, there would have been serious consequences,” he said.

“As a result of the RTI training, there was a fair bit of animosity between the regiment and the Intelligence Corps.”

Since leaving the ADF, Brad has learned that RTI training was filmed.

“I am deeply disturbed this was done without consent,” he said.

“It upsets me to think my men were filmed being tortured and in such vulnerable states.”

For decades, Brad did not report what happened.

“I believed doing so would have significantly impacted my career,” he said.

“There is a real risk of being ostracised if you speak up.

“I’m reporting it now because I feel comfort that there’s a large group prepared to share their experiences.”

Brad still struggles to describe his experience of RTI training.

“Looking back, I can’t describe it as anything other than really f...ed up,” he said.

“There is no way on earth that I should have been put into that environment at that time.”

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