From childhood bullying to a lifetime of kindness: Family remembers Aidan Alchin after fatal Adelaide motorcycle crash

After surviving years of bullying, major surgeries and a devastating car crash, Aidan Alchin was “so excited” to marry his Miss Universe Australia finalist fiancée.

The 23-year-old was due to marry his longtime partner Hayley Sutter, 27, on December 12, the couple’s fifth anniversary.

They had recently bought a home together, with settlement scheduled for November, and Aidan’s two older brothers were planning to help renovate it.

Aidan had also recently qualified as a locksmith after completing his apprenticeship and training at TAFE in Queensland.

The couple were planning to travel around Australia in a campervan fitted with locksmithing equipment.

But another crash cut his life short, just two months before the couple were due to tie the knot.

The Adelaide man was riding his Yamaha motorcycle on Gorge Rd at Paracombe when he collided with a Mitsubishi sedan and a Subaru sedan about 12.50pm on Monday.

Aidan died at the scene, while the drivers of both cars escaped injury.

More than 100 people visited his family home with flowers and tributes since Aidan’s death, sharing stories of generosity his loved ones had never known about.

“Through his life, he dealt with so many things that people shouldn’t have to deal with, that he then made it his mission to help everyone around him in need,” Aidan’s brother, Liam Alchin, told 7NEWS.com.au.

A ‘rock’ to many 

Among the stories of people he helped included paying for a fellow motorcyclist’s registration because the rider could not afford to renew it, his dad Andrew Alchin recalled.

Meanwhile his mum Karen Alchin said Aidan regularly called friends who were struggling while driving between jobs as a locksmith, sometimes checking on them several times a day.

Liam said his brother had brought together a close-knit group of friends, many of whom had been dealing with loneliness or difficult circumstances.

Aidan would buy them food and clothes, help with expenses and spend time with them, often without telling his family.

“I had a lot of the guys that were in his riding community here the other day, and they all spoke of in their dark times that Aidan was there,” Karen said. 

“He was a rock to so many people, but they didn’t know the history of Aidan.” 

A childhood shaped by bullying

Aidan had no friends as a child, Karen said. 

Born with a cleft lip and palate, he underwent his first surgery when he was just three months old, followed by numerous operations throughout his childhood and teenage years.

He was relentlessly bullied over his appearance, with his family moving him between about eight schools.

“Because of his problems he used to get called bulldog all the time because of his lower jaw being forward, which meant he would dribble,” Karen said.

“He had some abnormalities, he had problems speaking at a certain age.

“So he became the person that people made a clown of and teased and was horrible to.”

The bullying was so severe that doctors brought forward a major facial reconstruction surgery, originally planned for when Aidan turned 18, to the age of 16.

The procedure involved advancing his upper jaw to improve its position.

But the surgery was just one part of nearly a decade of medical treatment and support.

Andrew said those difficult experiences had shaped his determination to help others, including other children with cleft palates.

“He had 23 years of intervention from people trying to help him be accepted by society, which made him be a special person to help others,” Karen said.

Another devastating setback

Just as Aidan was beginning to move beyond years of medical treatment, a car crash in June 2021 threatened his future.

He had been driving to meet his brother for a bowling trip when his car struck the back of another vehicle.

A sound system fitted in his car broke loose on impact, leaving him with shattered vertebrae in his spine.

He underwent major surgery, during which doctors fitted a titanium cage to stabilise his spine. His family was told he might never walk again.

Yet just days later, Aidan was back on his feet, telling his mother he was ready to go home.

He spent the next six weeks recovering at home, but about a year later, he began experiencing agonising back pain and could barely walk.

His parents said titanium screws used to stabilise his spine had broken, requiring another major operation.

The injuries also forced Aidan to abandon his civil construction apprenticeship, with his parents saying he struggled to find work because of concerns about his back.

He eventually joined his father’s locksmith business and undertook a new apprenticeship, officially qualifying earlier this year.

Happiness amid hardship

Amid the setbacks, Aidan also found love just months after his car crash.

Standing at 208cm (6ft 10in), Aidan caught the attention of Hayley at an ice-skating rink, who was herself 187cm (6ft 2in).

She approached him and struck up a conversation, asking whether he had a girlfriend and how old he was.

Aidan was just 18 at the time, while Hayley was 22. But not wanting to put her off, he cheekily told her he was 21.

“He knew that if he told her that he was 18, she probably would have skated the other way,” Andrew said. 

The pair went on to build a relationship that his parents described as a perfect match.

“They both understood each other fully, and were always there for each other,” his parents said.

“Hayley became very understanding and she helped Aidan through a lot of situations.

“He treated her like a princess.”

A ‘Unique BFG’

From the age of 15, Aidan was affectionately known to his mother as the “BFG” — the Big Friendly Giant.

“To me, he was a very kind, caring giant,” Karen said.

She described her son, who had autism, as “super intelligent” and creative, someone who rarely sat still to watch TV and was always finding something to do.

He loved motorcycles, cycling, photography, ice skating, LEGO, Minecraft, sound equipment, legal graffiti art, and was also a keen cook.

“I think motorbike riding gave him freedom. He was a very free spirit,” Andrew recalled.

But for Andrew, it was his son’s concern for others that stood out most.

“He seemed to be able to connect with people and it was unreal the way he was able to do that,” he said.

“Aidan had the ability to light up any room he walked into.”

For years, Aidan had been taunted over his appearance, with strangers calling out a cruel nickname even when he was out with his family.

The bullying eventually prompted him to change his Facebook name from Aidan Alchin to “Aidan Allin”.

It was only after his death that his family learnt from his friends what the name really meant: “Aidan All In”.

“So when Aidan did something, he did it with every bit of effort, everything,” Karen said.

“All in, nothing held back,” Andrew added.