The warning signs of coercive control as NSW jails first offender

WARNING: Distressing content

A landmark moment in the fight against domestic abuse has been reached, with the first person in NSW jailed after being found guilty of coercive control — a silent crisis affecting about a quarter of Australian women.

Callum Fairleigh, 34, was sentenced in February to two years’ imprisonment with a non-parole period of 15 months, becoming the first person in NSW to receive jail time under the state’s new coercive control laws after the offence was criminalised in July 2024.

For victim-survivor Samantha, the sentencing was “validating”.

“I felt a sense of relief. I still fight in my mind that I’m dramatic because he kept drilling into my head that what was happening wasn’t so bad,” she said.

“For him to actually get a jail sentence shows it was that bad.”

The conviction marked so much more than justice for Samantha, however.

It represented the first real test of a law designed to address a form of abuse that is difficult to see but can be just as devastating as any other.

But what exactly is coercive control, and, if it is so damaging, why has it taken so long to criminalise it?

What is coercive control?

Coercive control refers to repeated patterns of abuse used to intimidate, isolate, or dominate an intimate partner, whether through physical violence or psychological manipulation.

The behaviour became a criminal offence in NSW at the start of July 2024.

The law makes it illegal for a person to engage in abusive conduct towards a current or former intimate partner with the intention of coercing or controlling them.

It is designed to capture ongoing patterns of behaviour, not just isolated incidents, recognising that abuse can be subtle, cumulative, and deeply damaging over time.

The offence applies only to conduct that occurred after the law came into effect and carries a maximum penalty of seven years’ imprisonment.

Coercive control can take many forms. It may involve limiting someone’s freedom or controlling their choices, monitoring their movements or communications, harassing or stalking them, or shaming, degrading, and humiliating them.

It can also include isolating a person from friends and family, making threats, using violence or intimidation, and engaging in emotional, financial, or sexual abuse.

In some cases, it may involve systems abuse, such as making false reports to authorities as a way to manipulate or punish the victim.

While the criminal offence currently applies only to intimate partner relationships, coercive control can also occur in other family dynamics. This includes situations between adult children and parents.

The legislation was introduced amid growing recognition that coercive control often precedes lethal violence.

The NSW Domestic Violence Death Review Team found in 97 per cent of intimate partner domestic violence homicides, the victim had experienced coercive and controlling behaviours before being killed.

NSW Police recorded 386 coercive control incidents between July 2024 and September 2025, resulting in 18 charges.

Two-thirds of those incidents were accompanied by another offence, including stalking, domestic assault, or malicious damage.

‘You don’t even own the inside of your head’

Abuse is not always loud or even visible. Sometimes, it is the quiet erosion of freedom, confidence and identity, happening behind closed doors. Because of this, noticing coercive control can be incredibly difficult.

On Sunrise, NSW Coercive Control Implementation Task Force independent member Annabelle Daniel said the warning signs are often hard to recognise particularly for those in the relationship.

“What that can be is an increasing feeling of isolation, feeling trapped, feeling like you don’t even own the inside of your head and that you’re constantly watching over your shoulder,” Daniel said.

“Feeling crazy, feeling gaslit, feeling like you can’t have a clear and honest conversation or that conflicts are never resolved. That’s what it can feel like living inside coercive control.”

From the outside, she said, loved ones may notice someone withdrawing from family and friends, stopping activities they once enjoyed, or appearing on edge or fearful around their partner.

“Those are really important signs to look out for,” she said.

Convincing others and being believed can be a really “difficult” task for women going through this kind of abuse.

“Some of the behaviours involved in coercive control can be really slippery and hard to define,” she said.

“What’s important is, if something doesn’t feel right in a relationship, reach out for those people you do trust because that is the best protection against coercive control and isolation,” she said.

Where to get help

Whether coercive control is coming from an intimate partner, a family member, a caregiver or someone else, it is never acceptable and support is always available.

Daniel urges anyone affected to seek help through trusted friends or family, GPs, local women’s health services, legal services or national hotlines, including 1800RESPECT.

If something does not feel right, she said, trust that instinct and reach out.

If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.

In an emergency, call 000.

Advice and counselling for men concerned about their use of family violence: Men’s Referral Service, 1300 766 491.