Screen Queen TV reviews: Down Cemetery Road, It: Welcome To Derry, The Block finale and The Witcher

Down Cemetery Road

Wednesday, streaming on Apple TV Plus

If you’re anything like me, you’re currently inhaling the latest season of the Apple TV Plus thriller Slow Horses.

My goodness, that show! It really is one of the best, if not THE best, series on TV right now.

But now there may be a contender for the title: Down Cemetery Road is the latest book by crime novelist Mick Herron (who also wrote Slow Horses) to be adapted, and it’s shaping up to be every bit as good.

This time, instead of Gary Oldman and his wrinkled suit, we’ve got a spiky-haired Emma Thompson, complete with kick-ass leather coat, impeccable red lip and mesmeric screen presence. She plays a private eye drawn into investigating the case of a missing girl after a woman (Ruth Wilson) comes to her and her PI hubbie (played by Adam Godley) for their help.

If you’ve read the book, or spied the fantastic trailer, you’ll know viewers are in for a wild ride — and one that will likely have them guffawing along the way.

Because if you’ve read any of Herron’s books, you’ll know they’re funny. Like, really funny. And as Thompson pointed out in a recent article she wrote for Radio Times, this was one of the major reasons she signed on for this TV project.

You can’t help thinking that for 66-year-old Thompson, the character of Zoe Boehm is something of a gift. Much like Jackson Lamb and Gary Oldman now seem one and the same in my mind, Herron’s brilliantly written anti-heroine feels tailor-made for Thompson’s considerable talents.

Sadly, I can’t elaborate just yet (damn you, embargo!), but know this: if you’re counting the hours until the next superb Slow Horses episode drops, you’ll want to set an alarm for this one, too.

It: Welcome To Derry

Monday, streaming on Max

The things I do for you lot! I knew sitting down to watch this prequel series to the terrifying It horror films was going to be a tough watch. But I am nothing if not committed to my job, so this scaredy-cat took one for the team, and reader — I am still scarred.

I can’t tell you more as there’s an ironclad embargo in place — Stephen King will personally crawl out of the miasma and rap me over the knuckles if I give even a skerrick away. But trust me: if you’re a horror aficionado, or a fan of the terrifying world of Pennywise the Clown first introduced via King’s sensational book, you won’t want to miss this.

Mark your diaries, keep the lights on . . . and prepare to have the living daylights scared out of you.

The Block Finale

Sunday, 7pm, Nine

This is it, Blockheads — auction day has finally rolled around. With Lambo Guy (supposedly) sitting this auction out, I’m intrigued to find out how this year’s crop of Daylesford homes will fare. My money’s on Perth couple Britt and Taz — bring it home, you guys.

The Witcher

Thursday, streaming on Netflix

The wait is over and we’ll finally get to see whether Liam Hemsworth has what it takes to step into Henry Cavill’s shoes. Did Cavill abandon ship at just the right time? Fans will be casting their judgment when episodes drop this week.

Son Of A Donkey

Thursday, streaming on Netflix

In the tradition of Wogs Out Of Work and Fat Pizza comes this cringe (and not in a good way) comedy from the duo behind Superwog. I lasted all of eight minutes — it’s a hard pass for me.