Highly successful people use 5 phrases when talking to their bosses: You’ll ‘set yourself apart’, says expert

One-on-ones are the most valuable time you have with your boss.

Yet most people treat them like throwaway meetings. They fail to prepare and rush through them, rattling off a few tasks they’ve completed and calling it a day.

I’ve spent almost 15 years coaching leaders at companies like Google, Amazon, and Apple. In my book, Managing Up: How to Get What You Need From the People in Charge, I talk about how the people who get promoted fastest don’t treat one-on-ones as a status report.

The highest performers use this time to connect their work to business impact and to uncover stretch projects they wouldn’t hear about otherwise.

Leaders promote people who don’t need to be managed and who’ve proven they’re already operating at a more senior level.

Here are five phrases to use in your one-on-ones that will change how your boss sees you and the opportunities that come your way.

1. ‘First, let me share progress since we last talked’

Open by walking through what you’ve accomplished since your last meeting and why it matters. This lets you highlight wins and prevents the conversation from getting derailed by whatever is top of mind for your boss.

What you share here is often passed up the chain, making it easier to gain visibility with decision-makers.

Try this: Skip vague status updates and link your work to business outcomes. Instead of “We’re reaching out to new clients,” say, “We contacted eight prospects last week and have three demos scheduled, keeping us on track for our Q2 goal.”

2. ‘One thing I could use your perspective on is …’

Even a 30-minute one-on-one can double as a focused problem-solving session.

This phrase positions you as a partner to your manager, not just someone who takes orders. It shows you’re thinking critically about challenges and taking initiative to solve them, which is the kind of behavior that gets people promoted.

Try this: Don’t bring a problem without sharing what you’ve already tried or the options you’re weighing. Instead of, “I have no idea how to handle this team conflict,” say, “There’s been some miscommunication with the marketing team. I’ve tried [X] and I’m considering [Y] next, but I’d love your take before I move forward.”

3. ‘What are you hearing from leadership?’

Most people only talk about their own work in one-on-ones. Turn the tables and ask what’s happening at your boss’s level and above. This gives you insight into priorities, pressures, and changes that could affect your work before they trickle down and surprise you.

When you engage in a thoughtful conversation about strategy and the things leaders care most about, you set yourself apart from peers.

Try this: Ask what your boss has coming up or what initiatives are on the horizon, then offer to assist. You could say, “I know you have a lot on your plate. Are there projects where it’d be helpful to have me step in to lighten the load?”

Or, “I’d be happy to attend that meeting in your place so you can be heads-down on other priorities.” It’s a win-win: You help manage their workload while gaining exposure to growth assignments.

4. ‘That’s something I’d love to get involved with’

Your promotion isn’t decided at your performance review. It’s decided in the months leading up to it. This phrase is a subtle but powerful way to make it known that you’re interested in — and ready for — additional responsibilities.

Try this: If your boss mentions a new direction for the company, you might say, “Great to hear we’re expanding. How are we approaching regulatory issues? I’d love to contribute on the compliance side.”

Or use it after positive feedback: “Thanks, I enjoyed working on the program. I’m looking to take on more work in that area.”

5. ‘To recap, I’ll do [A] and [B]. I’ll look for [X] and [Y] from you’

Ending one-on-ones with a noncommittal, “Sounds good, talk next week,” is how things fall through the cracks. You’ll end up frustrated that your manager doesn’t follow through. Instead, close with accountability. Summarize what each of your action items are.

Try this: If your boss agrees to do something, get specifics. Ask, “Is Wednesday doable?” or, “Can I count on having that by Friday?”

Melody Wilding, LMSW is an executive coach, human behaviour professor, and author of Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge.

CNBC