CAROLINE DUDDRIDGE: I’ve made almost $50,000 by charging to look after my grandkids. Here’s why I make them pay

During the recent half-term, I found myself spinning on a fairground ride while hanging on to two five-year-olds for dear life.

When we all stepped off, I felt so dizzy I almost fell over. At 65, you’d be right in thinking I’m too old for such antics, but such is the life of a ­committed grandparent.

For the past decade, I have looked after various of my seven grandchildren so their mothers could work, committing to two ten-hour days a week ­during school holidays (that’s three months a year) and whenever else I may be required.

I have five children — my daughters are 39, 34 and 31, and my sons, are 36 and 26 — and my daughters have seven children between them, aged 14 to eight months. So that’s a lot of changing nappies, wiping runny noses, park visits and homework guidance.

I’m certainly not the kind of granny who just sticks them in front of the telly and puts her feet up. A retired primary school teacher, I believe good childcare is vital and I take it very seriously. I have ­potty-trained one grandchild, ­supported another in learning how to walk, read endless stories and always made time for games, too.

At my age it is exhausting, but there’s also the financial expense: petrol, the treats I buy for them, and entry fees to petting zoos and play centres. It all adds up.

So that’s why I charge my daughters for my childminding services: £15 for a half day ($29 AUD) and £30 ($ 58.50 AUD) for a full day. In fact, over the past decade, I’ve made £25,000, around $48,000 AUD.

That might sound like a lot, but I’m not trying to make a profit out of my children; often it barely covers my expenses. And it’s well below the market rate charged by professional childminders.

Not that this makes my policy any less controversial. There’s no doubt that asking your adult children for gran-maintenance remains taboo.

Although the few friends I’ve told applaud me for having the gumption to stick up for myself, I know there are plenty of others who frown at the fact that I don’t wish to spend all that time with my grandchildren for free.

In fact, my eldest daughter has called me ‘selfish’ and ‘cheeky’, and I just know she gossips with her friends about it.

But I don’t know of any other grandmother as generous with her time as me. And I’m certainly not the only grandparent who resents the fact that society seems to expect us to provide gratis childcare on tap. One of my friends has feigned a chronic medical condition that means she’s ‘unable’ to care for the grandchildren on her own.

Before my husband died of pancreatic cancer in December 2015, we talked of going on retirement cruises and enjoying winter sunshine in Mediterranean resorts.

Now I am with Dean, my partner of six years — and he does get annoyed that we can’t do things like this together because of my —childcare duties. He also has seven grandchildren and is very clear about his boundaries. We look after them at his convenience only.

As for me, it’s not as if I had help from my own mother. Her attitude was ‘They’re your children, you get on with it’. In an emergency she’d be there — but it was very rare.

Having married at 21 and had my first child at 25, I stayed at home to raise our children while my husband worked as a civil servant. I didn’t work full-time as a primary school teacher until my youngest was in school, having done my teacher training around their school hours.

But my daughters were clear they wanted to be working mothers — not that they could afford not to be in this day and age. One is a teacher, another a mature student who ­juggles studying with her full-time job as a carer. Only the eldest is in a long-term relationship.

My second eldest daughter was the first to have children when I was 50. We arranged that I’d look after her child every weekend — and charging for this would’ve been unthinkable then. But fast-­forward three years and I had another three grandchildren, my three daughters having each had a child one year after the other.

The assumption was I would play childminder to all of them, according to their varying needs. That’s despite the fact that I was working four days a week at the time. My daughters assumed I could look after their children on my day off.

On a good day I had two of them; on a bad day three. It was a struggle looking after three toddlers with only a double buggy. I’d hand them back to their mums at the end of the day utterly exhausted.

That’s why, in 2014, when the eldest grandchild was four and the others three, two and one, I sat down with my daughters and told them I wanted to formalise childcare arrangements. In the end, only my two eldest daughters needed my help — and they weren’t exactly delighted by my fees.

My eldest was astonished, arguing that grandmothers should jump at the chance to spend time with their precious grandchildren.

But I stood firm. I justified my position (as if I needed to!) by explaining that my services were cheaper than a nursery or a childminder. The average childminder costs £132.85 ($259AUD) a week for 25 hours — that works out at about £5 ($9.74AUD) an hour, while I was charging £3 ($5.84AUD) an hour. ­Neither of them were exactly over the moon, but they didn’t have a choice really.

As their mum, my heart went out to them. But this was a professional transaction, one that I would honour week in and week out regardless of my own plans — and would result in me giving up my proper salary to make it work.

I took early retirement at 57. Initially, I tried to keep my hand in by working two days a week as a supply teacher, but it just wasn’t practical.

That’s why having this extra money is so important. I usually use any that’s leftover after accounting for the day-to-day costs of childcare to buy something nice; I love ­perfume, so I’ll treat myself to a more expensive one. But I don’t feel guilty doing this occasionally, as I also put money into my savings accounts for when my grandchildren are older. I feel that’s an important use of the childminding money that will be appreciated later on.

So, how do my two days of granny childcare pan out?

On Mondays, I’m up at 7am, in the car for 7.45am and it’s a 40-minute drive to my eldest daughter’s home, where I look after her three daughters, now 11, five and eight months.

I’m on the go until I leave, dealing with nappies and resulting clothing changes. By the time I get home at 6.30pm, I’m so tired my partner Dean doesn’t get a look in.

On Fridays, I’m at my other daughter’s, who also has three children, aged 14, 11 and five. I won’t let them spend hours mindlessly scrolling on their tablets. We play games in the morning, walk into town for lunch and then the park for a run around. In the afternoon, we’ll watch a film. If there’s homework, I’m on hand to help.

And that’s not forgetting the ridiculous rules of modern parents. You can’t say ‘be careful’, you have to say ‘take it gently’. Another no-no is ‘I’m so proud of you’, because that’s all about you — you have to say ‘you must be so proud of yourself’.

One daughter handed me a two-page list of dos and don’ts — such as how often to check their nappies and what not to give them from the treat drawer. I tossed it in the bin. I’ve raised five children. Paid or not, I know what I’m doing.

Deep down, I suspect my daughters are proud of me for not being a pushover. Perhaps they’ll be inspired to do the same when their time comes. This is, after all, about bound­aries, which is such an important lesson for women to learn.

And I like to think my late husband would have been supportive of my decision; he used to get fed up with the eldest constantly asking me to help out.

I do make the distinction between childcare and babysitting, though. I happily offer my services with no payment required for date nights and social dos. That’s a grandma role and one I’m happy to take on if it suits me and my diary.

After all, who doesn’t love a cuddle from a grandchild? But I spent 30 years bringing up my own family, and I don’t feel I’ve spent any part of my life without children to think about. That’s why I’ve said to all my kids: please, no more babies!

* As told to SAMANTHA BRICK.

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