Join Scotland’s Burns celebrations at Glenapp Castle in winter: Haggis, falconry, Ceilidh dancing and bagpipes

Travel is, at its heart, an exercise in fantasy.

The childhood variety, perhaps, or the more grown-up ambition of briefly inhabiting the sort of life normally reserved for people with inherited wealth, questionable titles and staff who know how to polish silver.

And really, if you’re going to indulge the fantasy, why not do it properly? Enter a baronial-style castle on Scotland’s south-west coast, where ordinary life can wait outside the gates.

There’s something more than a little Jeeves and Wooster about Glenapp. Perhaps it’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover, depending which way your holiday vision board points.

Think country house service and a property that, in castle terms, is a mere infant at just 156 years old. Towers and turrets and a warm welcome that suggests you’ve travelled further than the 114km from Glasgow. Note: you can be picked up by one of the estate’s drivers, who are dispatched far and wide and across borders.

It’s easy to slip into laird life as you take drinks in the drawing room. Here there’s not a list — just a suggestion of bubbles, a G&T, whatever whets the whistle. As one becomes two you might find yourself wondering, are these complimentary? They’re not. But this is no time to scrimp.

One of only three Relais & Chateaux properties in Scotland, Glenapp also holds a coveted Michelin Key, a Gallic nod to the quality of everything, including dining in The Castle Restaurant with its tasting menu and formal vibe. The Azalea with its seasonal fare and Sunday Lunch resides in the restored Moncur & McKenzie Glasshouse, a period rarity that’s also a royal trapping — know King Charles has one at Balmoral.

It all points to the fact that while the castle’s 17 guestrooms retain period features from the Victorian and interwar era, this isn’t a tired pile creaking under the weight of roof repairs.

That could have been its fate before Paul and Poppy Szkiler took on a down-at-heel Glenapp in 2015. Impact investors, not hoteliers, the duo have added The Nest within the estate’s walled garden, a private suite with its own plunge pool and sauna. While size isn’t everything, they’ve also created the largest hotel suite in Scotland with a two or four-bed option. The Castle Penthouse Suite has welcomed guests you’d know, say staff, yet annoyingly they won’t say who, such is their firm discretion.

Commanding views of the Irish Sea take in the Isle of Arran and Ailsa Craig, a volcanic island that’s both a bird sanctuary and the source of granite for around 60 per cent of curling stones globally (a neat fact that feels distinctly Scottish).

Guests can get out to the island on the estate’s own vessel, which is also used for a multi-night Hebridean Sea Safari. The thing about people who have both vision and capital is that they create very nice things.

You also can’t come to Glenapp and not leave without engaging in a few country pursuits. We’re not talking cow tipping or the burning wicker effigies, but rather falconry and stargazing. You can also demonstrate your (lack of) archery skills — ROAM’s hopes of channelling Robin Hood were torn asunder by a competitive redhead rocking an AC/DC T-shirt.

While she’s having her full Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games) moment, picking off imaginary adversaries with alarming conviction, you may find yourself wondering whether the castle library stocks Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Or, more pertinently, why you’ve agreed to spend your holiday firing arrows at things when there’s perfectly good literature, a comfortable chair and presumably a decent whisky indoors.

GLENAPP CASTLE HOTEL

BALLANTRAE, AYRSHIRE, SCOTLAND PRICE: From approx. $712 per room, per night

INSIDER: While most are (rightly) mad for a Euro summer, rugging up and braving the Scottish winter has its benefits. January 22-23 puts you in the heart of Burns celebrations — Ceilidh dancing, bagpipes, a traditional banquet and Address to the Haggis. It’s a thing. glenappcastle.com