Springboarding stress management: The proven way to beat stress isn’t self-care — it’s helping others

Most stress management advice gets it completely wrong. We’re often told to focus inward — practise self-care, take bubble baths, meditate in quiet rooms, get massages.

While these activities aren’t harmful, they’re missing something crucial.

As a stress physiologist, I’ve found that 58 per cent of people actually stress out more when trying to control their stress.

But here’s what really caught my attention: when researchers analysed more than 90 workplace wellness programs, nearly all failed to improve employee wellbeing.

The one notable exception? Programs that encouraged employees to do charity or volunteer work. These actually worked.

This aligns with what I’ve discovered in my own research: the most underrated way to manage stress isn’t to try to “cure” it by attempting to eliminate or hide from it — it’s to channel that stress energy outward

Helping others

Most people focus on cortisol and adrenaline, but there’s another key player: oxytocin. Often called the “cuddle hormone”, oxytocin serves a specific purpose. It motivates us to connect with others and seek support.

What that means is that stress is designed to be a social experience — not one you’re supposed to conquer on your own. No wonder our attempts at resolving our stress by ourselves often leave us feeling worse when we fail. For much of human history, we faced challenges as groups, not individuals.

I’m not suggesting you ignore your own needs or become a martyr. Instead, try what I call “stress springboarding” — using your stress energy as fuel for meaningful action that benefits others.

How to action it

If you start to feel overwhelmed at work, instead of retreating, look for a colleague who might be struggling and offer specific help.

This could mean covering a meeting for someone dealing with a sick child, sharing a useful template you’ve created, or simply asking, “what’s your biggest challenge today?” before diving into solutions.

Volunteer for the project everyone’s avoiding, or offer to onboard the new team member when others are too busy. The key is to act while you’re feeling that stress energy, not after you’ve “calmed down”.

If you are experiencing personal stress, rather than just venting to friends, ask how you can support them.

Cook dinner for someone going through a breakup, help a neighbour with yard work, or organise a group activity that benefits everyone. Often, stressed people bond when they help each other through difficulties simultaneously.

In your broader community, channel stress about local or global issues into concrete action.

Volunteer for causes you care about, organise community solutions, or use your professional skills to help non-profits.

And lastly, with your family, when those well-worn family dynamics generate stress, focus on how you can contribute to solutions rather than just managing your own reactions.

This isn’t just feel-good advice. Brain imaging shows that helping others activates reward centres and reduces activity in stress-related regions. When we focus on contributing to our communities, we literally rewire our brains to handle stress more effectively.

Why it matters

This approach has professional benefits too. Leaders who channel stress into supporting their teams see better performance across the board.

Employees who help colleagues during high-pressure periods are more likely to report higher job satisfaction and engagement.

Instead of fighting your stress response, learn to use it as a competitive advantage.

The next time you feel that familiar knot in your stomach or racing heart, ask yourself: “How can I use this energy to help someone else?”

You might be surprised to find that the best “cure” for your stress is actually a balm for others.