It’s time to find the joy in the little things in your life. Because we don’t know how much time we have left

“You only live once, but if you do it properly, once is enough.” (Mae West)

Sitting with family and friends at Clancy’s cafe in City Beach last Sunday afternoon, my best mate Pauly said something that has been on my mind all week.

The setting was idyllic. A freezing cold beer, white sand, blue ocean, gentle sea-breeze cooling us after a stiflingly hot day. Super talented local musician Richard Lilje, sitting in a pair of boardies, t-shirt, and sunnies, was strumming his guitar, and singing our favourite tunes.

In that moment I felt incredibly grateful. Family, friends, beach, sunset, music. I was home. That alone made me feel good. Happiness from simplicity as they say.

Pauly and I were talking about a friend we hadn’t seen for a while. His absence from our circle was causing us a degree of concern. We knew he wasn’t overly happy, and we also knew he wasn’t necessarily living his best life.

At one point my affable friend’s face changed a degree or two. His normal relaxed, jovial demeanour stiffened for a second when he said, “you know what mate, we might only have fifteen summers left in us. We might as well make the most of them. We can’t waste them.”

At the age of 53, we have been to our fair share of funerals in the last year, and we have lost a few friends of similar vintage over the years. We hear of people in unhappy relationships or battling illness or injury. For them life seems tough, for the others it is over.

Only fifteen more summers in Perth.

A sobering thought. Hopefully more, maybe less. Who knows? What I do know is that the notion of our mortality has had me thinking all week.

Over the years I have read many quotes about living your best life. Many of them are written on the walls in my inspiration room at home.

“Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can on it.”

“Life has no limitations; except the ones you make.”

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things.”

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness — it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

All these have made complete sense to me and while I like to think I have lived an adventurous life, “only fifteen more summers in Perth” really hit a nerve.

When my fun-loving, happy, lifelong friends, change their tone to make a serious point, I usually sit up and listen.

Another mate, Professor Bruce Robinson, former West Australian of the Year, founder of the Fathering Project and lung specialist, has told me several times that his inspiration for writing books and helping fathers, was born from his hundreds of experiences telling men they were dying from terminal illness.

Again and again, he heard the same responses: “I should have spent more time with my children, my family, my friends. I wish I’d been a better father. I wish I could get that time back. I wish I had spent more time doing the things I love doing, rather than what I thought I should be doing, like working all the time.”

Having spent thirty years “working all the time”, the last two years has been an eye-opener for me. The opportunity to enjoy consistent routines like home-cooked dinners, walking the dogs every morning, seeing my kids 80 per cent of the time rather than 20, going to the footy, commentating on the cricket, Saturday morning coffee with my mates, golf with my dad on Wednesdays, tending the garden, have all been an absolute joy.

Doing things that are making me happy, not just accomplished, has been very fulfilling. And healthy.

What I have found is that by enjoying my work, and social life, I am far more physically and mentally healthy. Rather than squeezing and grinding and living with constant stress, this new rhythm I have chosen is fun.

By looking for the joy in the little things in my life, professionally and personally, I am starting to develop way more lines on my face from smiling and laughing.

If I do only have fifteen more summers, I am going to enjoy every one of them. As I am with the winters, autumns, and springs that I have left.

Everyone will have a different way of doing this.

Another workaholic friend has just spent an unexpected week at Rottnest Island. When I had heard he had accepted the opportunity to his stay at his friend’s hut at south Thompson Bay I was pumped for him.

He sent me a text during the week saying, “at the Rotto pub sitting at a table next to your man Mike Hussey last night. Had a tribe of kids with him. Beautiful weather over here.”

He then told me how his daughter was “making us swim at 12 different bays in five days before we leave on Friday morn. Just ticked off number 5 at the basin this morn.”

Simple. Great. Him sounding happy, made me feel happy.

My mother-in-law Pam is one of the happiest people I have ever met. She has lived in the same house in Sorrento for 55 years. It is a humble abode, but it is her castle as they say. Every morning, for as long as I have known her, Pammy goes for a swim with her friends, does her 100 twists in the water and then has a “delicious” cappuccino to warm her up.

There isn’t a single time I see her that she doesn’t tell me how lucky she is to live the life she does. There is no caviar or crayfish for her, just simple, healthy, and happy living. She is a real-life hero and inspiration to me, and she wouldn’t even know it.

The average lifespan of an Australian is 82 years of age. By my maths, that means I have a few more that 15 summers left in me. My fingers are crossed.

Living your best life means that you, and only you, know what makes you truly happy. This can change during the different chapters of your life. From everything I have learned, I am going to make the most of every moment I have. The other options are far less fun, and nowhere near as rewarding.