DANE ELDRIDGE: Travis Head a national cricket treasure, England show fight when matters least

Travis Head has officially graduated from cult hero to a national treasure just like Steve Waugh and Darryl Kerrigan.

After racking up another daddy ton on day three alongside fellow Aussie sweetheart Steve Smith, the lovable crow-eater is stealing the nation’s hearts as casually as he’s stealing Man of the Series honours from Mitchell Starc.

As comfortable at the crease as he is draining a shoey, Head’s scruffy larrikinism is a breath of fresh air in cricket’s homogenised professional scene.

Despite demonstrating his lethal competitive spirit with three tons this series, the 32 year old still revealed at stumps he likes to cheekily walk singles to “rev up the change room” and “take the piss”.

But not only does he continually remind us that sports science can be about beers and kitchen haircuts over skinfolds, Head’s always proving his chops as a stone cold killer because he consistently performs at the right time.

With a match winning ton in Perth and a crucial second innings century in Adelaide to go alongside his triple figures at Sydney - in addition to decisive hundreds in World Cup and Test Championship triumphs - Head is a big game specialist with an eye for the clutch.

On the other hand, England only start throwing punches once the boxing tent has left for the next town.

At least England’s bowling unit can’t be accused of inconsistency, which while wholehearted, has remained largely toothless.

Take nothing away from Ben Stokes, who is one of the rare Poms this series alongside Joe Root and the Barmy Army who’s consistently shown up.

But his skirmish with Marnus Labuschagne in the shadows of day two symbolised England as much as Jofra Archer did in Brisbane when he arrived for a fight carrying a pillow.

Nobody denies it’d take a monk to stand in the sun all day and resist shooing a buzzard like Labuschagne.

But with the air gone from this series long ago, Stokes’ fiery riposte was another example of England attempting to pull an aircraft out of a tailspin when it’s in smouldering ruin on the ground.

And let’s be fair dinkum; it’s not the first time this series they’ve been guilty of showing too little, too late.

Whether curbing the suicidal batting in dead rubbers, cranking it up in the field when defending forlorn totals or finally looking the hosts in the eye but only when they’re bloodshot from drinking too much lager from the trophy, Steve Smith’s words ring true that this England side only turns up “when nothing’s going on, champion.”

The tourists may have ended a 14 year drought with their triumph in the third test at the MCG, but getting the chocolates against an Australian side that’d been on the victory tins for a week was about as commendable as winning a bout of shadow boxing.

This was preceded by the second test when Archer decided the most appropriate time to awake from his slumber was when defending 65, a bizarre move that elicited the famous sledge from Smith.

And don’t forget the batting unit finally exhibiting care and attention after spending the first three tests batting like their hair was on fire.

While still not completely rinsed of Bazball dogma, England’s batting has slowly deradicalised since Perth and Brisbane to the point that ludicrous dismissals like Jamie Smith’s to Labuschagne have now mercifully decreased to the point they are lost in the day’s laughable highlights amongst all their dropped catches.

But what’s the point of dedicating to a Cult of the Offensive only to backslide to common sense once the series is decided?

At least England’s bowling unit can’t be accused of inconsistency, which while wholehearted, has remained largely toothless.

Admittedly weakened by injuries to Archer and Mark Wood, Gus Atkinson and Matt Potts have been largely ineffective, and while his side’s leading wicket taker, Brydon Carse has served up so much custard he should be working in an old folks home.

It all shows that while Bazball may be a covenant inside England’s four walls, Brendon McCullum has been exposed as a motivator who’s two balls short of an over.

What he’d give to get underneath Head’s kitchen haircut to see how a killer’s mind ticks.