THE FRONT DORE: Irrelevant Kevin Rudd, but ‘shit-scared’ Anthony Albanese will be mauled by Donald Trump

Australia is in for a torrid time under Donald Trump.

It is ludicrous to even contemplate keeping Kevin Rudd in Washington as our ambassador to the US.

It was always a hopelessly banal decision, one typical of Anthony Albanese’s complete capitulation to the intellectual bullying for which Rudd is famous.

It’s not Albanese’s worst call since assuming power, but it will be if he doesn’t get rid of the bloke.

Switch scenarios. Imagine the US sending a diplomat to Canberra who was not only a notorious arsehole, rude, belligerent, belittling and bellicose, but a bullshit artist with a bad temperament. Straight out of the Foreign Service Recruitment Manual, the ideal set of seductive personal attributes for our top envoy to our most important ally.

But of course, Rudd’s imperfect personality is not the worst of it.

Loose-lipped Rudd is so arrogant he actually thinks he can walk back every insult ever delivered about Trump and get away with it.

It’s quite the mood. Rudd didn’t just flippantly say Trump is a traitor, a nut, he believes it. In his core.

He said it over and over again, and incredibly only recently deleted this gem from X: “The most destructive president in history. He drags America and democracy through the mud. He thrives on fomenting, not healing, division. He abuses Christianity, church and the Bible to justify violence.”

This is not Ambassador Rudd. It’s Think Tank Rudd. Context guys. All good.

Rudd’s absurd arrogance has always been a thing of beauty. But this is what his “office” said in an official statement after Trump won the presidential race.

The tweet and other remarks were removed from his “personal” website and social media “out of respect for the Office of President Trump”. This was done to “eliminate the possibility of such comments being misconstrued”. There is no chance those remarks could ever be misconstrued.

It’s worth noting that Rudd’s “office” is paid for entirely by taxpayers, by virtue of his status as a former prime minister.

We fund a researcher, who Rudd uses, among other things, to harass and hound media outlets whenever anything remotely critical of Rudd is published.

While he has muted his boorish behaviour since moving to DC, the Rudd assault, which usually also includes a legal letter from one of the country’s top defamation lawyers, will inevitably fire again once he is removed from his current post.

One such example of Rudd’s use of taxpayer-funded staff was to relentlessly pursue a media outlet through the Australian Press Council for claiming in a well-informed article, published just before the 2022 election, that Albanese planned to appoint his mate ambassador to the US.

“Total garbage”, “outright lie”, “fraudulent claim”, Rudd screeched in a letter to the press watchdog, demanding apologies and corrections and retractions.

Six months later Rudd was “greatly honoured” to accept the post. What a lunatic.

But when it comes to Australia and Trump, Rudd is only really a bit player in the absurdity.

One could possibly excuse Rudd for having a crack at Trump after he was turfed from office, under the perhaps courageous assumption the president was done.

Rudd’s retraction release last week implied that taking back the nasty words about Trump was the right thing to do because they were made when he was a private citizen — knocking about on the international speaking circuit, spruiking for gigs and aching for adoration for that big brain of his. But it added they didn’t represent his views as ambassador and insisted they not be seen to be “by extension the views of the Australian Government”.

Noble. But as always misleading. They are exactly the views of the senior members of the Australian Government — from the Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Penny Wong down to every other smartarse in Cabinet struck down with the sneering superiority complex. It is fashionable in Labor Left circles to mock and ridicule any public figure who doesn’t get it. Isn’t locked and loaded on all the issues of our times. Climate. Palestine. The Voice.

So it was honest Albo when he declared Trump “scares the shit out of me”. Albanese genuinely feels it. He’s an emotional guy. He cares.

But Albanese made that remark to his fans when he was a senior Labor frontbencher and future leader AND TRUMP WAS STILL PRESIDENT. Sorry for shouting. But come on.

When it comes to the US relationship, Albanese not only has a Rudd problem but he has an Elon Musk problem. Big Musk problem. Huge.

Musk is a Democrat who backed Trump into the presidency out of utter dismay at how the censorious, irrational far left has infiltrated the once mainstream centre left politics, causing a drag on the world.

The Left has transformed from the idealists in touch with the working class, inspired by the collectivist spirit into the new conservatives, only the institutions they are standing for are not the traditional conservative foundation pieces of society, like freedom of expression and democracy, but, ironically, the most binary of polemics centred on individual identity.

Musk is now hugely influential in the new Trump world.

He has transformed from the Left’s Tesla hero to hate figure since buying Twitter, promoting free speech and platforming voices, like Trump’s, that they want silenced.

So not only is Albanese “shit-scared” of Trump but he just a few months ago went on a rampage against the president’s new bestie, lashing him as “out of touch”, an “arrogant billionaire who thinks he’s above the law, but also above common decency”.

Musk, who is not bad on hyperbole, reckons Albanese’s Government are “fascists” for trying to censor the internet.

And it’s not like he doesn’t know what’s going on. Just yesterday Musk had a crack at Albanese’s “misinformation bill”, saying our Government was trying to “deceive the people of Australia”.

Musk is both Trump’s chief information officer and his chief technology officer. This is disastrous for Australia.

And this is where it comes back to Rudd.

If Trump publicly lambasts Rudd, then his position in Washington is untenable.

If Trump were to resist the temptation to press the point on Rudd, who is “a little bit nasty” and “not the brightest bulb”, then there is a power dynamic in play that is not in Australia’s favour. Unlike former ambassador Joe Hockey and his prime minister Malcolm Turnbull, who both schmoozed and stood up to Trump, Rudd will be left powerless to extract any concessions out of the president, on trade or AUKUS. This leaves our man in Washington impotent. And it leaves Australia vulnerable. It’s that simple.

Turnbull believes Trump could care less about Rudd, he’s more interested in world leaders, like Albanese. “This means that ambassadors and foreign ministers, no matter how capable, could offer much less assistance or influence. The key relationship lay between Trump and the foreign leader.”

Turnbull’s January 2017 phone call with Trump, their first, is a masterclass in negotiation. The Washington Post published the complete transcript of the call.

Turnbull is brilliant. Precise. Persuasive. Determined. And ultimately successful. Easily his finest moment as PM.

Assuming Turnbull is right on Rudd being irrelevant, it is simply inconceivable that Albanese, as “shit-scared” as he is of Trump, has any chance of matching Trump’s uncompromising brutality, as Turnbull did, albeit briefly.

Trump back in the White House doesn’t owe anyone anything

Whatever we think of Turnbull he stood up to Trump and squeezed a good deal out of him for Australia.

Albanese can’t even stand up to the anti-Semites in his own party room.