AARON PATRICK: Three female Labor MPs dared to joke about sex. What happened next was unfair

As 226 federal MPs this week considered one of the most consequential bills for human rights of the decade, the fallout from a private conversation played out in the background in a way that showed politics at its worst.

A Liberal-National Party senator, James McGrath, expressed outrage at a mid-ranking Labor MP for participating in the adult game “F---, Marry, Kill”.

This is how it’s played. Someone nominates three people you know. You have to chose who you would marry, who you would murder and who you would have a one-off sexual encounter with.

The game’s awkward pleasure comes from being forced to consider, and disclose, the most powerful human drives: lust, love and hate.

Eavesdropper complaint

A couple of weeks ago the Assistant Minister for Women, Health and Aged Care, Rebecca White, was hanging out with a couple of Tasmanian State MPs, Ella Haddad and Sarah Lovell, at a food festival in Hobart.

For reasons that are unclear, and don’t really matter, the three women played the game, selecting men from the Liberal Party, which is in power in Tasmania. Lurking nearby was a female party activist, who overhead the conversation.

The eavesdropper complained, prompting all three MPs to provide her with immediate, written apologies. Ms White, who used to be the Tasmanian leader of the opposition, even thanked her for raising her concerns.

“I unreservedly apologise for offending you and appreciate you making direct contact to share your feedback,” she wrote.

To her credit, Ms Lovell, the party’s spokeswoman for health and women, deployed light sarcasm in her apology. “I hope I didn’t ruin your afternoon entirely and you were able to otherwise enjoy the afternoon,” she wrote.

Tasmanian Labor Party leader Josh Willie even called to say sorry.

Front-page news

Hobart’s a small town. The story landed on the front page of Tasmanian newspaper The Mercury, where it persisted for three days. Eventually it went national, and was covered as far away as China.

In Queensland, a senator looking for attention on Thursday complained about what he called a “disgusting exchange” that “completely sums up the disregard this government has for the opposition”.

The story was well read for good reason. Such insights into how politicians behave when they think they are in private are rare. The progress of sexual equality has given more women power, and the sound of successful women discussing their sexual interests is new.

Everyone expects politicians to have hate in their hearts — disloyalty to colleagues is often celebrated, or at least respected, if it leads to advancement. Senator McGrath knows this as well as anyone, for he helped remove Malcolm Turnbull as prime minister in 2018 after working to elect him Liberal leader in 2015.

But sexual preferences by female politicians representing women? The shame!

No jokes here

Criticising politicians for engaging in normal activity adds to the unrealistic standards society expects of political leaders.

Many politicians are funny people. How many have you heard tell a joke? That’s because the best humour offends someone, and politicians are expected to be examples of moral perfection.

Peter Dutton and Julia Gillard are great fun, but became automatons behind a microphone or in front of a camera. They didn’t dare say anything interesting lest it distracted from whatever debating point they were making to stay or become prime minister.

Both might have been more successful if they had the courage to be themselves in public.

(Interesting historical question: if Ms Gillard had been caught on tape playing “F---, Marry, Kill” using Coalition subjects, when she was prime minister, what would have been the impact on her popularity? My guess is she would have won over a couple of hundred thousand voters, although the number would have depended on her selections.)

A smaller example of the no-personality principle that dominates public life: check out Anthony Albanese’s and Jim Chalmers’ ties; always elegant but bland.

While Ms White, Ms Haddad and Ms Lovell were embarrassed this week for having fun, a more serious discussion was conducted over the limits of free speech.

The debate over the Government’s anti-Semitism bill has demonstrated why parliamentary democracies, while messy, often settle on good policy. Though the review process has been rushed, the potential consequences are being debated in depth by experts, those potentially affected and all federal politicians, from One Nation MP Barnaby Joyce to Greens senator Mehreen Faruqi.

The Government has printed a 300-page document, about twice as long as the proposed laws, that explains how they are intended to work. Senior public servants have been required to answer MPs’ questions on the detail.

Hopefully the result will be laws that make Australia safer, while maintaining the nation’s free speech traditions, including the right to joke about which work colleague you’d like dead.