Anthony Albanese makes Oasis joke about he and Peter Dutton at North Melbourne Grand Final Breakfast

Ben McClellan
The Nightly
The Swans and Lions have wrapped up their final preparations ahead of tomorrow's match-up.

The Prime Minister has likened his relationship with Opposition Leader Peter Dutton to that of the once fiercely estranged Gallagher brothers.

At one of the most high-profile events of the year, where the most important names in the Australian business world mingle with the power players of the sports universe with a healthy sprinkle of politicians throw in - the North Melbourne Grand Final Breakfast - Anthony Albanese used his address to make the wry observation referencing the Oasis siblings.

“Over the years there have been many famous double acts that have done a great job of mixing footy with comedy: Sam Newman and Trevor Marmalade on The Footy Show, Sam Pang and Mick Molloy on The Front Bar, Andrew Gaze and Jason Dunstall on Bounce, but instead this morning you get me and Peter Dutton,” Mr Albanese said.

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“We are more like the Gallagher brothers from Oasis.

“Two blokes with a long history of fighting each other putting aside our differences, getting together on stage and giving all of you watching at home what you really want, the chance to stop watching, get up and make yourself a cup of tea.

“Don’t look back in anger, in fact, don’t look at all.

“Consider our contributions not so much speeches, but more like an ad break.”

Leader of the Opposition of Australia Peter Dutton arrives during the AFL Grand Final Breakfast at the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre in Melbourne.
Leader of the Opposition of Australia Peter Dutton arrives during the AFL Grand Final Breakfast at the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre in Melbourne. Credit: CON CHRONIS/AAPIMAGE

The Labor leader, who is struggling to fend off a resurgent Liberal Party heading into the next election, also had a dig at his hosts saying the breakfast was the “only way to get North Melbourne and grand final into the same sentence”.

Not to be outdone Kangaroos president Sonja Hood made her own quips about the leaders and her club.

“Welcome to both the Prime Minister and the leader of the opposition. I didn’t think we had much in common – but when I was writing this speech I realised that actually all three of us are trying desperately hard to turn around an underperforming organisation,” she said.

“The Prime Minister has tried to reshuffle his way out of his – I can tell you from experience, that’s a card you don’t get to play as often as you might like.

“The leader of the opposition and I have both gone for a different approach, binding our respective futures to a powerful yet volatile energy source. For Mr Dutton, it’s nuclear fission, for me, it’s Alastair Clarkson. Let’s hope yours is less explosive than mine has been.”

The highlight of the grand final day calendar is attended by more than 1400 VIP guests including former Roos president Bob Ansett, Victorian deputy premier Ben Carroll, Melbourne Lord Mayor Nick Reece, AFL Chairman Richard Goyder and AFL CEO Andrew Dillon as well as sporting identities such as former Socceroo Archie Thompson, cricketer Scott Boland and former West Coast Eagle premiership winner and this year’s premiership cup ambassador Josh Kennedy.

The jovial tone was set early as AFL chief executive Andrew Dillon entered the room to the soundtrack of Paul Kelly’s Dumb Things and fellow official Laura Kane was welcomed by I’m out of Touch, a light-hearted reference to fixturing and umpiring controversies throughout the season.

Mr Albanese wasn’t spared either, skewered over cost-of-living pressures as he joined the stage to the strains of I Need a Dollar.

Decked out in a Brisbane scarf, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton referenced the eye-watering cost of flights into Melbourne as he congratulated his Lions and the Sydney Swans on making it to the first all-interstate AFL decider in two decades.

“Let’s face it, there really are two winners today, Qantas and Virgin,” Mr Dutton said.

He gave his commiserations to Geelong for missing out on a ticket to the big dance after losing a blockbuster preliminary final by 10 points.

“Cats supporters, fear not - as was pointed out before, there is a federal election coming up so Kardinia Park will be in line for another taxpayer-funded upgrade I’m sure,” he joked.

Mr Albanese tipped the Swans to win by 20 points with Isaac Heeney taking out the Norm Smith Medal, while Mr Dutton predicted it would be the Lions by 10 and Lachie Neale would earn the top individual honour.

Collingwood superstar and Brownlow runner-up Nick Daicos laughed at speculation AFL umpires might have got him and brother Josh confused when voting on their performances in the King’s Birthday game against Melbourne, describing it as the “million-dollar question”.

“I don’t know, I got subbed out so I assume the vote wasn’t for me but I’ll take it,” he said with a grin.

Goyder also made an appearance on stage, as well as former stars of the game including Eddie Betts, Dermott Brereton, Nick Dal Santo and Gerard Healy.

Australian rock band Eskimo Joe rounded out the event with a performance of their hit Black Fingernails, Red Wine.

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Revolting. Despicable. Disgusting. Why anniversary rallies must be banned.