The AFLW season is under way, which means we can dust off the same conversations we have every year.

The scores are too low. The standard’s not good enough and the crowds aren’t big enough, and don’t forget the games should be at bigger venues, or smaller — depends who you ask.

And while some of those criticisms are fair, I think we’re still having the wrong conversations about women’s football.

I played in the early years of the AFLW, when the competition was finding its feet and we were constantly being told to be patient. Give it time and let the players and competition develop.

And so nearly a decade on as another AFLW season gets under way, that’s happened, so here are three things I wish people would stop saying.

1. “It’s not as good as the men’s.”

Before we even have this conversation, I think we need to ask: what does “good” actually mean?

Because when people say the AFLW isn’t as good as the men’s game, they’re often talking about things like how far a player can kick, how high they can jump, how fast they can run or how much they can physically dominate a contest. But to me that’s an apples-and-oranges comparison.

Women’s football and men’s football are different. The athletes are different. The physical attributes are different. That’s biology. So to compare and expect the same thing isn’t necessarily fair.

This might help what I meant: Think about boxing.

Nobody would have put George Foreman, a heavyweight champion, in the ring with a featherweight. But, you’d have to be a brave person to then tell that featherweight they’re not as good because they didn’t fight with the big guys. There are weigh-ins to make sure that fighters only fight someone of their own class because we understand that different weight classes exist for a reason. We understand that sports have nearly always created categories because fairness in sport is what we’re after. Yet somehow, it comes to women’s sport, many don’t understand and forget that. We ask why women can’t kick as far as men, jump as high as men or run as fast as men, and then use the answer as evidence that women’s sport isn’t as good.

But either way, why is that the definition of “good”?

AFLW players are competing against other AFLW players, not the men.

They are using different physical attributes to solve the same fundamental problem: how do you beat the opposition and win a football game?

The skill is in the decision-making, the positioning, the contest, the handball, the kick, the defensive pressure, the ability to read the play and the ability to execute under pressure.

And yes, there are differences in the way those things might look compared with the men’s game, but different doesn’t automatically mean worse.

We don’t watch a featherweight fight and complain that nobody is hitting as hard as George Foreman.

So perhaps we should stop watching women’s football and asking why it doesn’t look like men’s football. The AFLW doesn’t need to be the men’s game. It just needs to be good AFLW football.

2. “The standard isn’t good enough yet.”

I hate this one, because it is good enough, and it’ll only get better.

You only had to watch Australia’s match against Ireland a couple of weeks ago.

There are players in the AFLW who can kick, mark, read the game and execute under pressure at an incredibly high level. There are teams that move the ball beautifully, defend brilliantly and have genuine tactical application.

And then there are teams that aren’t as good.

But isn’t that all sport? Including our beloved AFL?

The good teams are good. The bad teams are not.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t watch Essendon and blindly declare the whole league is rubbish because they’re terrible.

So why do some decide to judge the AFLW by its weakest performers?

If you’ve watched one AFLW game, particularly one involving two teams who aren’t among the competition’s best, and decided the standard isn’t good enough, I’d suggest you haven’t watched enough football to make that judgment.

Instead, watch the best.

The standard isn’t perfect. It never will be. But that’s not the same as saying the standard isn’t good enough.

Because good footy is good footy, and that doesn’t have a gender.

3. “The AFLW should only be played at suburban grounds. It’s too small for stadiums.”

I actually think this one is a little more complicated, because I love what the local grounds bring to the AFLW.

There is something special about playing in front of a full local stadium with passionate supporters who live in the area and have a genuine connection to their club.

It makes the competition feel accessible, and for young girls watching from the boundary, there is something pretty powerful about seeing elite players playing at a ground that feels like their own backyard. You’re up close, it’s great for families and it has a sense of nostalgia we will never have again in the men’s competition.

But I don’t think that means the AFLW should be confined to suburban grounds. Saturday’s St Kilda-Carlton match at Marvel Stadium was a pretty good reminder of that. The game was fast, skilful and high scoring — and the perfect conditions under the roof there a big component of that.

Saturday firmly cemented to me there are games that deserve a bigger stage, and there should be a genuine push to have at least one marquee AFLW match at Marvel every round.

The way NRL work their grounds show there can be a really good balance between the two. You can have games played at local grounds that service the fans from a club’s traditional home, while taking the big rivalries and marquee fixtures to the big stadiums. One doesn’t have to come at the expense of the other.

And there’s one fairly significant detail in all of this: the AFL owns Marvel Stadium. So if the AFL genuinely values the AFLW product, it has the ability to make this happen.

But there is a responsibility that comes with the matches being played this season. If we want the AFL to put marquee games in big stadiums, then fans need to turn up. If we want broadcasters to promote the competition, then we need to watch.

If we want the AFL to invest in the product, then the product needs to give people a reason to come through the gates.

And that applies to the players as well. They have absolutely earned the right to be given the big stage, but then they have to perform on it.

So make sure we stop talking and start doing. Fill the suburban grounds. Fill Marvel when the big games are there. Watch the best players. Demand more from the competition. And then maybe if these all happen, we can force the AFL’s hand and continue to push the W forward to where it belongs, side by side with the men, not below it.