From avocado bathrooms to shagpile carpets, the naff trends that are making a comeback

Some interior styles never seem to die – just when you think they’re finally gone for good, a gushing younger generation adopts them as if they’re brand new.

Even the most dreaded of 1970s design shockers, the avocado bathroom suite, is seeing an improbable renaissance. A recent poll found that more than a quarter of 20-24 year olds view them as highly desirable.

TikTok is awash with posts trying to revive has-been decor crazes (a recent how-to video on bed canopies has had 3.2m views), but that doesn’t mean these zombie trends that keep coming back to life are any good. Indeed, as head judge on BBC1’s Interior Design Masters, many of them make me do a horrified double-take.

I don’t mind it so much when fads reappear with a fresh creative twist – every age reinterprets the past in its way, and there’s nothing wrong with a dip into the archives for inspiration.

But what I can’t bear is when they re-emerge exactly as they left the stage but plastered with the term ‘ironic’, as if that makes them acceptable.

No, there was a reason they went to the wings, and they should stay there.

So which resurfaced trends should, quite frankly, stay dead? Here are eight from my hitlist and two that I (whisper it) rather like...

IT’S NOT COOL TO BE KITSCH

The resurgence of retro kitchens started with a renewed love for colour, which has blossomed into seeking out brightly-toned accessories.

Think retro glassware, vintage appliances and accessories such as china butter dishes. It was but one step further to what Pinterest has dubbed ‘kitchens’.

Cue the return of pastel pink and minty green paint, cafe curtains and eclectic patterned tiles. It all sounds rather jolly, but will it stand the test of time? Not a chance.

Such a devoutly retro look harks back to a time when housework was all drudgery, and suet pudding was the nation’s favourite. Times have moved on and a full-on kitsch kitchen is, as per the word’s dictionary definition, “showy, cheap and without style”.

DELIVER ME FROM DOILIES

Doilies and antimacassars – aka granny chic – might be huge on Tik-Tok, but let’s be honest, they were never actually chic.

I rank them alongside those plastic covers your nan used to wrap the ‘best’ chairs in lest you spill your tea.

A coaster is OK, so you don’t make rings on the coffee table, but a doily has no useful purpose beyond the decorative.

And like many a decorative ornament, doilies are largely only good for collecting dust and not much else.

As for antimacassars, I always think of the ones they use to denote the first class carriage on a train. More expensive seats they may be, but you’re still leaning against someone else’s greasy head marks.

If you need little protective wrappers to protect from grease, the problem is not with the chair.

SIDE-STEP THE SHAGPILE

Homeowners seeking cosy comfort are returning to the idea of deep shagpile carpet after years when hard floors reigned supreme.

But while carpet has its place, shagpile should certainly be banned from the living room.

In the bedroom, what a sweet joy to sink clean toes into a deep pile as you pad across to the bathroom in the middle of the night. But anywhere you might still have your shoes on is a categoric no (that goes for bathrooms, too).

There’s just too much fluff to trap dirt, ergo germs. Plus, the longer the pile, the harder to vacuum. Make life easier for yourself and confine it to your sleep space – if you must indulge.

CHEAP FRILLS

Save me please from those twee little frilled curtains to hide what’s under the sink. These are being touted by many respected designers and influencers as the perfect affordable, country-chic update to your laundry room or kitchen.

They may be fun for now, but they’re unlikely to stand the test of time. Because let’s face it, they are naff as hell unless made from gingham or linen and hanging in an authentic Greek taverna.

In a standard boxy three-bed in the UK, they look fantastically out of place, as if you didn’t complete your kitchen plan and forgot to add the last door.

Also, don’t you think it’d be too tempting to use them like a handy hanging tea towel? They’d be filthy within weeks.

FLORAL FAUX- PAS

Who doesn’t love a bit of Cath Kidston’s 1950s flower-power whimsy? But on curtains?

I say, no.

It ties into the retro kitchen vibe: very traditional wife. But who lives like this? If you want flowers, grow or buy them.

A plain drop of any colour of velvet would be a better call. Why?

Because it makes a bolder statement yet allows the view to be the hero.

My favourite trick is to match curtains to the wall colour so they ‘disappear’ completely.

Then, you really can focus on what’s outside.

NO PLACE FOR CHROME

Shiny chrome was a huge status symbol in the 1980s.

This was how you knew who had the money and who didn’t.

After all, you’d need permanent staff to wipe down the fingerprints on your chrome coffee table or uncomfortable seating.

As such, both signified the triumph of style over function. This trend is best left in the vault.

And yet it seems to resurface every time a designer wants to say ‘modern’.

It’s not.

CURTAINS FOR CANOPIES

Centuries ago, four-poster beds were shrouded in fabric to create a room within a room.

Whole families would pile in together to maximise the warmth of body heat.

I wince at the resurgence of bed canopies and drapes. On the one hand, in contemporary style, such beds can be super-cosy, and energy saving is always smart.

On the other hand, they smack of enforced faux decadence and design overkill. Not to mention they’re impossible to clean, will collect dust and are an open invitation to moths.

TOO MUCH ON YOUR PLATE

Design ‘influencers’ love to hang a bunch of mismatched china plates on the wall and call it a feature. Sorry, but this is just as ‘bad taste’ as a set of flying ducks.

To have so many spare plates that you need to use them for decoration reeks of unnecessary excess.

Keep them on the table, where they belong.

DEEP DISCUSSIONS

Conversation pits are like an ageing rock star who refuses to quit – they just keep going and get cooler along the way (yes you, Mick Jagger).

Sunk into the floor, with custom sofas and plenty of cushions, often carpeted throughout, they invite laid-back lounging with colourful cocktails in hand.

So I confess that I love the modern iterations of these 1970s classics, some of which come with built-in bookshelves and matching coffee tables.

Their only disadvantage? Anything designed to fit inside them is unlikely to work anywhere else, but maybe that doesn’t matter.

SUPERSIZE THAT STEREO

The continuing revival of all things analogue makes a statement about slowing down our busy lives.

Cassettes and even LPs have made a comeback as the cool accessory for Gen Z.

So does this mean the return of oversized turntables and tape decks in our homes? I predict it does.

Bigger is better; we all know buttons are great; and so are printed instruction manuals instead of a blasted QR code leaving you to scroll through tiny print on your phone.

This also means that physical record collections, rather than a list of downloads, are the new way to go, too.