Yarra Valley Grammar students had ‘respectful relationships’ workshop a week before ranking scandal broke

The Yarra Valley Grammar students behind a heinous spreadsheet that ranked female peers’ attractiveness took part on a “respectful relationships” workshop a week before the offensive list was exposed.

Two boys were expelled from the elite east Melbourne school and two more were reportedly suspended after a “disgraceful” spreadsheet ranking female students using offensive and violent terms emerged on social media.

More than 30 female Yarra Valley students were included on the list, which was reportedly compiled by Year 11 boys, which categorised the girls as “wifeys”, “cuties”, and some as “unrapeable”, among other offensive terms.

The offensive dossier emerged despite the Yarra Vallley Grammar website insisting the $30,000-a-year co-educational environment “creates an atmosphere of gender equality”, and despite students engaging in mandated respectful relationships education.

In fact, a week before the list was exposed, the school’s Year 11 students took part in an additional “wellbeing” session focusing on “respectful relationships” with social enterprise group Tomorrow Man.

“Last week the Year 11s took time out to focus on their wellbeing,” the post read.

“The Tomorrow Woman and Tomorrow Man sessions continues the school’s focus on respectful relationships.”

Tomorrow Man — and its sister group, Tomorrow Women — is a Victorian social enterprise that was founded in 2017 by Tom Harkin to help children and adults unlearn harmful gender stereotypes, and build emotional intelligence.

When asked about the workshop, a spokeswoman for Tomorrow Man said it was the latest in “multiple modules” run at the school over the last two years that align with the national curriculum’s Respectful Relationships and consent education for senior students.

“We cover a number of topics from the impact of traditional masculine stereotypes to how young men show up in the world,” she said.

“We have a great relationship with Yarra Valley Grammar and have received continued support for the work we do with their students.”

She said the revelation of the “shocking” list is proof of the complexity of this work: “that getting young men to think and behave differently isn’t something that happens overnight in isolation”.

“We can work with students in the classroom, but other external factors have a huge impact on their perspectives and behaviours, which can lead to these types of events,” she said.

“We have been delivering workshops with schools and individuals across the country since 2017, and have found the best long-term impact happens when these issues are tackled by society, not just schools, but parents, sports clubs, student peers and the government as well.”

“Yarra Valley Grammar School has shown a genuine commitment to promoting respectful relationships among their students over the past few years. We have reached out to the school to offer our support.”

The Nightly approached Yarra Valley Grammar for comment on the workshop but received no reply.

In a letter to parents on Tuesday, Principal Mark Merry said the school was “characterised by respectful relationships most of the time”, but conceded more work needed to be done.

“Whilst we conduct regular sessions on respectful relationships and model care and respect in all that we do; this has not been enough,” Dr Merry said.

“We will be reviewing all of our programmes to ensure that the dignity of all is respected. This needs to be a learning moment for all of us.”