Concert etiquette: If your phone is up for more than 25 seconds, what are you even doing here?

You’ve been here before.

You’re excited to be at the concert, the band is ramping up to a triumphant climax, it’s reaching into the back catalogue of fan favourites, the first riffs are being played, yes, you love this song, everyone loves this song, you’re in the zone, you’re ready to be sent out on a high note, and then…

Someone’s bloody phone shoots straight up in front of your already limited view of the stage. So, now you can’t see the frontman, you can only see that phone screen.

Maybe they’re just taking a quick photo or three. Oh, no, they’ve pressed video. OK, it’ll just be a short clip. Wait, that phone is not going down. The arsehole attached to the phone is going to film the entire song. And then the next three songs.

This is not a new phenomenon nor is it a new gripe. But I’m feeling particularly activated about it today because this is how the Death Cab for Cutie concert in Sydney ended for me last night – seething about this crime against etiquette while listening to, and not seeing, the closing tracks.

I’m five-foot-three, so even at the best of times, finding a tunnel of visibility to the stage is a miracle.

No matter how much I’ve tried to position myself away from tall people, it’s a concert crowd, it shifts and moves and someone much taller inevitably ends up standing in close proximity. I’ve contorted in alarmingly uncomfortable ways to try and glimpse the stage.

Whatever, that’s just how it goes, and I’m never going to resent someone for their genetics. Bad luck for me if heads and shoulders are in the way. All shorties know this.

But when someone takes a deliberate action which affects someone else’s ability to see the show, something they do not have to do, it’s a breach against human decency. Maybe it’s not your intention to be a selfish tool, but you are, you’ve broken the social compact.

It’s the height of rudeness to the people around you. No one wants to watch a live gig through your phone screen but the bigger question is, why do you?

What happened to you in your life that you would pay for a ticket, come to a concert and then expend your energy laser-focused on the screen to make sure it’s a steady shot?

Why are you here? If you want to watch a video of the performance instead of the performance, that already exists on TikTok, which is maybe where your video will end up, and for what? A fleeting gesture of approval from total strangers. Well done, you.

The future you that you thought you were filming this for, they will never watch it back. But the present you missed out on being part of a moment from, presumably, a band you actually like. A band that hasn’t toured in Australia since 2019.

Increasingly, photos and videos posted to social media becomes a record of “I was there”, no longer content with just the memories. We all do it. I took three photos at the concert last night but only in the first 15 minutes of the set.

There’s a big difference between a quick snap or a 10-second clip, and videoing a whole song. Others have been known to record the entire gig, which is just absolutely deranged behaviour.

If anyone is going to have their phone thrusted up in the air for more than 25 seconds, they should be sent to a penalty box in the back corner, out of the way.

Look, there are no formal rules against this, although some bands and artists have pleaded with the audience to not film them.

British rockers Placebo asked fans to not take any photos or videos during their 2022 tour, as has KPop band Cortis. Iron Maiden in 2025 demanded fans to not “excessively film”, while others including Chrissie Hynde, Adele and Florence + the Machine have either spoken out about it or have asked people to put their phones away.

It’s not just music either, actors in the theatre have expressed their displeasure too. Cate Blanchett recently asked the audience to stop filming during the curtain call, and so did Lesley Manville. Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott and Rosamund Pike have had to stop performing mid-show when an audience member whipped out their phone and, in one instance, their laptop.

For live performers, looking out at the audience and seeing a wave of screens and cameras disrupts any connection they’re trying to form. For other audience members, it interrupts their own enjoyment of the event. The point of live performance is to be in it together, not siloed through our individual screens.

But those who speak out, especially music artists, are rare, because, generally, having clips and photos flood social media has commercial upsides for them, and for the promoters and concert venues. It’s free marketing.

Many would point to an overall degradation in social etiquette in public spaces since Covid made us homebodies who could control the physical space around us. But it’s been more than five years since the last lockdowns were lifted, so that excuse is wearing very thin.

That means no scrolling through your Instagram while you’re at the movies or taking that call on speaker in the airport lounge. Everyone can see and hear you.

Transport for London recently launched a campaign targeting riders who don’t use headphones while watching videos. Australia needs the same because it happens all the time.

And this isn’t about groups of youths playing music aloud, which, honestly, has always happened, as annoying as it is.

In my experience, it’s weirdly been the pensioner crowd who are more likely to watch videos in public with the volume up and no earbuds in sight.

In recent weeks, there was the old man next to me on the plane who spent the 10 minutes before mandatory flight mode devouring Facebook videos (I’m assuming it was Facebook, given the demographic).

A month ago, I even asked the elderly lady on the train if she had headphones she could use instead, only for her to snark, “Don’t worry, I’m moving anyway” and then take her blaring phone to elsewhere in the carriage to be a pest to a whole other group of passengers.

Our increasingly hyper-individualistic values have made etiquette monsters out of some of us. We all need to do better – and that means calling it out when it happens. If we can’t guilt people into being more considerate, maybe we can shame them.