Modern etiquette expert William Hanson reveals how to behave, and the worst faux pas you need to avoid

The way you add salt to food can reveal everything about how polite — or not — you are, says William Hanson, author of Just Good Manners: A Guide To Courtesy, Charm And Decorum.

So are you slipping up at supper? And what other social sins might you be committing?

Here, he reveals everything from the faux pas that make you a terrible host to the irritating fashion accessory that makes colleagues think you’re ill-mannered.

Read on, if you dare...

Removing footwear

Unless they are filthy, keep your shoes on. I don’t want to see people’s feet – they often smell.

Traditionally, the upper classes had antique rugs that had been in the family for generations and wooden floors. From the middle class down, they had wall-to-wall carpets and were prissier about them.

Imagine going to Buckingham Palace and Queen Camilla asking you to take your shoes off.

If she can deal with it, everyone else can.

Offering house tours

This is the definition of gauche.

Your home is not a National Trust property. Friends don’t care what you’ve done to your son’s bedroom.

Getting salty

Don’t put salt all over your food. Put a pile on the rim of your plate, then take a few granules on the blade of your knife and add it to the food on your fork.

In a more relaxed setting, take it with your fingers and sprinkle it.

Never season before tasting, and don’t add salt or pepper at all if you’re worried about insinuating the host’s food is bland.

Put down the bread

Carve into your bread and before the meal even begins you’ve created a problem; the table is now covered in crumbs. Instead, tear off a small piece of bread and butter it on your side plate. Never raise it aloft.

Ditch that insecurity

You reveal your own insecurities in a fine restaurant by proclaiming how fancy it is, saying things like: “Oh, I’m not really used to this.’ The experience is not supposed to be intimidating. They want you to have a good time, spend money then come back and spend even more. Saying this reveals to everyone that it’s not your natural habitat.

Social media sins

You assume everyone in the restaurant wants to be in your photos on Instagram. They may be very famous, having an illicit affair or just not want to be captured on camera. This sort of behaviour will mark you out quickly as an ingenue and not a regular.

Going Hyacinth Bucket over Bouquet

You flamboyantly swill wine around the glass or in your mouth. But the waiter doesn’t care if you like it or not. Winetasting is a misleading term because you’re not actually meant to taste the wine, it’s complete theatre. You’re simply sniffing to check if it’s corked. The exception is with the house wine. If you taste a small amount, and don’t like it, you are within your rights to change your mind.

No PDA please

You can’t keep your hands off your partner. People still don’t like public displays of affection (PDA), so if you are at a friend or relative’s home with your partner, don’t leave your hand on their knee for more than five seconds if it’s visible to others. Keep all affection short and sweet because we are British and not Spanish.

Handshakes, not hugs

You’re over-familiar. Far better to offer a handshake and not a hug or kiss when greeting someone for the first time. A handshake will tell you more about their character. A kiss or a hug is very close into their personal space. A hug can feel insincere and incredibly awkward if both parties don’t fully commit to it.

Money shouldn’t talk

You talk about money. When it comes to introductions and small talk, avoid any big picture topics – ambitions for your kids, views on marriage, lavish holiday plans. Remarkably, you can talk about sex on a first meeting but not about money. If their answers become staccato, that’s your signal to move on.

Style is silent

You wear noisy jewellery in an open-plan office. Jangling bangles can be irritating to colleagues, especially if you’re tapping a keyboard all day. As can long nails. Wear them to dinner, but in the office you need to consider what a distraction they are for everyone else.

WFH at the office

You make the office an extension of your house. While offices are becoming less formal, there should still be a standard of dress. Don’t show up looking like you just returned from the supermarket or are about to snuggle on the sofa. Your clothes inform your mindset, and you should dress to impress both clients and colleagues.

William Hanson is the author of Just Good Manners: A Quintessential Guide To Courtesy, Charm, Grace And Decorum, published by Penguin.

Interview by Jade Beer