THE NEW YORK TIMES: Surfing, not shots. Bachelor and bachelorette parties go outdoors.

You don’t have to be able to quote every line of “The Hangover” to know that bachelor parties can get out of hand.

For many future brides and grooms, wild nights of overindulgence and questionable matching outfits have become as much a part of the wedding rites as bow ties and bouquets.

But that’s starting to change. A growing number of bachelors and bachelorettes, typically those who are a little older and have enough money to travel, are choosing to bid farewell to single life by bringing their loved ones together for destination gatherings centered on more wholesome experiences — glamping instead of gambling, surfing instead of doing shots.

Jolie Golub, a co-founder of BachBoss, a company that has helped plan more than 350 bachelor and bachelorette parties, says about 40 per cent of its events, up from about a third of them in 2023, now focus on activities other than partying, with an increasing number of inquiries into places “with a focus on nature and wellness.”

Couples in their 30s and older, she said, particularly gravitate toward hiking, yoga, glamping, fishing and golf outings. It helps that their friends may also want to celebrate “in a way that doesn’t leave them hungover and exhausted at the end of the weekend,” she said.

Here’s how some couples traded bacchanalia for bonding at their bachelor and bachelorette getaways.

Costa Rica: Spending a Week at Surf Camp

Gina Maruskin, 52 of Milford, Michigan, took seven friends to Surf Synergy, in Jaco, Costa Rica, in February 2024 for a week of “fun girlie bonding” on surfboards.

Members of her group, all around 50, stayed together in bungalows, and each woman had a dedicated surfing coach who provided a private lesson and a review of videos of their progress and technique each day.

“We were cheering and yelling for each other, seeing each other getting up on the surfboard. It was such a beautiful bond,” Maruskin said. When they weren’t in the waves, the women took part in resort-organized activities like massages, yoga and a rainforest hike.

“We came out of there knowing each other in such a different way,” she said. The bride-to-be enjoyed her time at the resort so much that she had her wedding there.

Colombia: Paragliding With Friends

Angie Ramirez, 35, of New York City, hosted her bachelorette party on a nine-day trip to Medellín, Colombia, where a portion of her family still lives, as a way of introducing her friends to her heritage.

“There’s this whole other person inside me, speaking Spanish,” she said, “but it’s still me and my personality.” She added, “I wanted to share a piece of me they don’t often see.”

The group of seven took a cultural walking tour, rode a cable car and sampled Ramirez’s favourite restaurants. They also visited Clandestino Restaurante, where she and her fiancé, Moritz Becker, had their first Bumble date. “It was special for my friends to experience and know the place where the relationship began,” she said.

They also bonded over an adventure. Ramirez arranged for the group to go paragliding, an activity she had enjoyed in Colombia before, about an hour outside Medellín. Paired with an instructor, she said, “Each of us threw ourselves off the mountain and glided to the small village at the bottom of the hill.”

Scotland: Snorkeling for Supper

Dan Jackson, 33, of London, didn’t know what to expect when his best man, Doug Worboys, asked him to choose 12 friends for a mystery weekend last October. Arriving at a scenic old estate near Arisaig, on Scotland’s west coast, the group met a local guide, Matt Watterson, for a weekend of adventures on water and land.

They began by riding out in Watterson’s boat, outfitted with snorkel gear, to learn how to identify and harvest scallops. They then hauled up lobsters from preset traps, and fished for mackerel on the way back.

That afternoon, the group competed in Highland games, arranged by Watterson and based on traditional events, like whisky-barrel rolling and more playful ones like the “Wellie toss,” which involved flinging rubber boots into tires. And after they’d worked up an appetite, their catch from that morning became a five-course beach dinner prepared by a local chef.

Other highlights included a nine-hole round of golf and a kayaking trip that ended with Watterson surprising the group by paddling ahead and greeting them on shore with a bagpipe song. “It was honestly the weekend of a lifetime,” Jackson said.

Colorado: Skiing and Ice Fishing

While many bachelor or bachelorette parties are billed as an end to single life, Elsa Dodds of Denver and her fiance, Bobby Beverage of Colorado Springs, instead used the event to celebrate their upcoming union, hosting a joint bachelor-bachelorette ski party in Breckenridge, Colorado, last February.

The couple was planning to tie the knot at Dodd’s family home in Whitefish, Montana, so they used the money they would have spent on a wedding venue to pay for two Airbnbs for 18 friends.

The group hit the slopes together on the first day, and spent an evening cooking and playing games themed around the wedding couple.

The next day, Dodds took her group cross-country skiing while her fiance’s group went ice fishing. “Shifting the focus away from partying and toward an activity that my fiance and I share allowed us to make the most of a weekend with the people we love,” she said.

Utah: Shooting the Rapids

For Jack Richardson, 31, of New York City, the idea of sharing an outdoor adventure with his brothers, his future brother-in-law and friends from all eras of his life inspired him to book a four-day white-water rafting adventure on the Yampa and Green rivers in Colorado and Utah in June 2024.

“Living in the city, I wanted to be out in nature and do something we might never do again,” he said. The group of 13 rafted in two boats with guides, navigating through Class III and IV rapids (Class V is the most challenging) and in the evening set up tents and enjoyed meals cooked by the guides.

The chance to hang out and share stories around the campfire with a couple of beers at night, especially without the distractions of cellular service, was a great bonding experience, he said.

“I’ve talked to guys who said they don’t remember a single thing from their bachelor party” because they were drunk, Richardson said. “That’s sad. This has the opportunity to be some of the best moments of your life.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

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