United Places, Melbourne is a luxurious mystery wrapped in an enigma

Melbourne makes a religion out of hiding things.

It’s the quiet, curious guest at the dinner table — the one you know is holding back despite holding all the cards.

Those cocktail bars behind fridges, restaurants and down alleyways? That’s Melbourne. Discreet. Mysterious. Fun.

It’s an approach that frames South Yarra’s United Places — tucked opposite the Botanic Gardens and The Tan. This isn’t the sort of place you stumble across. No, UP is the sort of place you whisper about.

Here, huddled amongst the wealthy cafe strip of Domain Village, there’s no announcement made by grand porte-cochère, no luggage carts clanging through an oversized lobby overstocked with marble.

Read the latest edition of ROAM here.

No, UP is a mere door with a muted iron sign above. Step through and you’re into a lengthy, darkened corridor of materiality that speaks of luxury apartment expertly finished.

A guiding staff member appears from behind a hidden door — aware of your arrival and your name. They offer a drink and a brief overview of the property and a code to a door that will open to an upstairs suite — itself a study in refined luxury and (it must be said) low light.

ROAM’s room is an expansive two-bed affair overlooking the park. It is more tasteful pied-à-terre than hotel.

Think velvet sofas, oak cabinetry, a colour palette that owes more to Celine chic than to Versace glitz.

The minibar isn’t a minibar so much as a curated collection of things you never knew you needed — think 200ml bottles of award-winning Sullivans Cove double cask whisky and single cask brandy, United Places the only property to carry such.

The views of the greenery opposite stream through floor-to-ceiling windows. A balcony means a chance to step into some sharp Melbourne air — the positioning of a cheeky full bathtub attached to the main bedroom another watery vantage point (with blinds to use at will).

The main living area — stylish sofa, sleek TV, designer chairs — aligns to a dining area and kitchenette that boasts sink, oven and electric cooktop, microwave and Nespresso machine.

Behind another set of doors — washing machine and dryer.

The space and the amenity means an easy ability to stay longer. It’s furthered by spacious bathrooms of bruised marbles and Sans [ceuticals] products from New Zealand. Did we mention the bath and its views?

Space is ultimately on offer across the suites and the general way of being at UP. You don’t need to interact with anyone when here.

There is no constant small talk on moving about or heading out. And that’s refreshing. Equally, the incredibly attentive staff are available to provide as needed — be it organising yoga classes or joining a run club, exploring the area on bespoke Tokyobikes, grabbing some books from the library or games that cover cornhole, bocce and beyond.

It’s a level of curation that extends to room service. Choose from the downstairs menus of chef Scott Pickett’s award-winning Matilda 159, Gilson and local haunt The Botanical Hotel (the Botanical burger is worth the price of admission — and do add the optional foie gras).

UP guests also claim priority bookings downstairs — with breakfast baskets of fresh pastries delivered from Gilson each morning.

There’s something to be said for being removed from the city — itself only a 10-minute taxi away, with trams on nearby St Kilda Road and the walk across the park a brisk 30 minutes. It adds a firm layer of appeal. It means delivering something we often crave when travelling, the feeling of not only sampling a locality but indulging, however fleeting, the notion of being local — joining the morning Gilson coffee run alongside AFL stars and members of the Victorian Parliament.

UP’s location also opens to easy meanderings across to Chapel Street — once DOA, now breathing again via an injection of decent retail and development — and a chance to indulge the Melbourne must that is culinary stalwart France-Soir.

Those who know of United Places tend to return. It’s been discovered, we’re told, by the Swedes and the Brits. And good for them. Because they’ve found something special. Which is why penning this piece cuts two ways — there’s very much part of us that doesn’t wish to divulge and to share, to keep the door closed and UP to ourselves.

So, drive on by like the taxi drivers squinting in their attempt to marry the hotel image of their mind to the reality of the street scene.

Nothing to see here. Except proof that luxury in Melbourne isn’t chandeliers or chandeliers pretending not to be chandeliers. It’s privacy, intimacy, a little smugness, and the quiet thrill of knowing something everyone else doesn’t. Which is, of course, the most Melbourne thing of all. unitedplaces.com.au

THE LOWDOWN

UNITED PLACES 157 Domain Rd, South Yarra VIC 3141

PRICE From $450 per night.

THE INSIDER It’s not often we go for picnics — too much fuss and fiddling. But when someone else is doing the organisation — well, hard to say no. Allowing 24 hours’ notice, UP can arrange bespoke baskets of local and international treats to be enjoyed within the parklands and botanical gardens. A further nod to the unique and personalised UP experience — one far removed from the CBD and its cookie-cutter ways.