CAMERON MILNER: Life’s a beach for Anthony Albanese on a Pacific getaway, Australian PM stuck in holiday mode

Albo deserves a week off in the sun in a Pacific paradise — after all, he’s earned it.

He’s never worked harder in his life after single-handedly delivering the return of the hostages from Gaza and still riding high in local polls back at home. The bloke does overtime every day, so time in an over-water bure at the Sea Passion Hotel is the least he could expect after his heroic efforts.

Albo and his partner Jodie boarded their very own Pacific Express after Albo just had to do a presser in Brisbane of all places the day before. Fortunately, Qantas flies direct from Brisbane to this Pacific destination once a week, as there’s no direct service from Sydney.

Qantas won a renewal of the contract back in August from the Albanese government and the service is underwritten by taxpayers of Australia.

Isn’t it nice to know that even when Albo isn’t on Toto One he’s still flying on a service only made possible with our government’s money.

The turquoise lagoons await apparently with stunning marine life. Albo will be able to take a kayak or perhaps take a hike inland to see hidden waterfalls.

What an opportunity to get away from all the troubles back in Australia.

An opportunity to prepare for the October 20 White House meeting with a real leader and peacemaker, Donald Trump. You know the bloke who previously “scared the shit” out of Albo.

A week to prepare, unwind, check out even more than when he’s chairing Cabinet.

Albanese has said this is the first holiday he’s taken since being elected in 2022 while many Australians wonder when since then he was ever actually at work.

Still better to leave the woes of domestic politics behind, take a break from the parliamentary palaver of Canberra.

A time to soak up the sun and culture in part of Micronesia rather than worry about another briefing on microeconomics from his over-talented and clearly too ambitious Treasurer, Jim Chalmers.

The last time Albo was in the Pacific, on official duties his best-laid plans were rudely interdicted by Beijing. He failed to get a deal done in Vanuatu, narrowly avoided getting fingerprinted by Chinese police in the Solomon Islands like every local and left empty handed from PNG without a security deal.

The Pacific is supposed to be Australia’s backyard and what our allies like the UK and US might reasonably expect we have a good handle on, instead Chinese bribes and now cops on the beat are the proof of just how bad it’s got under Foreign Minister Penny Wong.

Even the annual kava sculling competition led by Pat Conroy has failed to hold back the wall of red in our near Pacific. At least Peter V’landys gets a league team completely underwritten by taxpayers to show for all of Australia’s diplomacy.

The Pacific hasn’t been Albo’s finest hour, but at least he can enjoy happy hour with an island cocktail, perhaps a tropical punch of mango, banana and Galliano — at least that’s what the Qantas website says.

Albo can relax while reimagining Australia as his very own Fantasy Island. Imagine a place where a boy who grew up in housing commission could now get thirds on the gravy train of corporate largesse. A place where you get re-elected with a record majority because voters expect you to do even less in your second term than you did in your first.

A fantasy island where your sidekick, Dickie Marles happily rings the bell and yells out “De sub, de sub”.

A fantasy island where there’s no cost of living pressures, no housing supply crisis and no pesky Chinese doing live-fire exercises off the NSW coastline.

If only everyday for Albo could be as easy as his next seven in a Pacific paradise. Come to think of it, it’s actually like every other day of the Albanese government.

When Albo returns on the once-a-week Saturday service he’ll have Toto One ready on the tarmac at Brisbane Airport ready to take him to Washington and do us all proud as a nation.

Albanese will discuss AUKUS and make a critical deal on minerals.

He’ll stand beside a bloke he used as an election prop to defeat Peter Dutton.

Trump should actually give Albo the full Zelensky treatment in the White House — a wake-up call about where Australia is headed on his watch.

Australia has real challenges ahead as a nation, not least dealing with the rampant anti-Semitism on our capital’s streets, but Albanese governs as though life can be lived in a hummock on a white sand beach.

The lack of urgency, the policy lethargy of not wanting to be an actual Labor government is extraordinary, for Albanese governing feels like one long island siesta to the sounds of waves washing ashore, or so the Qantas website says happens where Albo is right now.

Albo knows he’s worked as hard as he can and deserves time away from voters.

He’s coasting to Christmas and with his wedding scheduled for summer, life can’t get much better.

All while Australians are served by a PM permanently stuck in holiday mode.