WINE CHATS: Are you an emotional being? Here’s what you can do about it

Are you cool as a cucumber or a bag of emotions walking around each day?

This week on The Nightly edition of Wine Chats Podcast, Billi is full of feelings and ready to chat about the emotions that run through us each day. And just as she’s about to burst into tears, Lyndsey saves her with a… chardonnay??

Counselling and chardonnay

Billi: Today we’re talking about emotions and feelings. Feelings and emotions.

Lyndsey: I think it’s more of like a counselling session for Billi because she’s very emotional today. So what better to add to an emotional wreck, Billi, than some wine?

Billi: A card-o-nay.

Lyndsey: It’s one of her least favourite whites, but that’s okay. It’s from one of our favourite wine labels (The Hidden Sea).

Billi: That’s the only thing that makes this chardonnay drinkable.

Lyndsey: Okay, Billi. What do you have for us?

Billi: Look, I have a bit of an article about the five main emotions that people feel. I’ve been very emotional lately. I don’t know how to even start this. We’ve been besties for a very long time, but internally, are you just super emotional all the time?

Lyndsey: No.

Billi: I am. And this is what I was thinking about last night because every once in a while, I have this existential crisis where I just question everything. I could probably cry right now.

Lyndsey: I was going to say, it looks like you’re about to cry.

Billi: Sometimes I just get these periods where I’m just so emotional. I cannot even deal. Everything makes me upset. I have to bring it back and be like, but I have a beautiful family.

My family loves me. And then that makes me cry. This morning I got a hug from my husband because I said to him, I just feel like I need to curl up into a ball and need to be held. And so he started hugging me and then I started crying. I’m such an emotional being. I’m constantly inundated with emotions galore.

Lyndsey: But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I guess you have to learn how to control those emotions and tap them at certain times.

Billi: And I do do that because I went through this really bad period of anxiety and I’ve beaten it. Kind of, to an extent, but I think because of going through that for so long now, when I feel really emotional, I kind of just want to tuck it away because I’m so sick of being emotional. I’m so sick of being everybody’s burden because Billi woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

You know what I mean? I get really tired of talking about it myself. So I can only imagine to the people closest to me, they’d be like, Oh God, here we go again. Another month of Billi crying about her, I don’t know, hair. As you can tell, I washed and dried my hair this morning. I didn’t even bother.

Because I am emotional. So anyway, I started Googling emotions, the five emotions. Okay. And I found out that there are five main emotions. Now, if you ever watched Disney’s Inside Out, it is actually accurate. From the little bit of research I did, there are five key emotions, but then there are 27 others as a whole. I read that list. It was a bit wordy, so I didn’t want to go through that. So we’re just going to go through the five.

Lyndsey: Okay. Hit us.

What are the five main emotions?

Billi: Go on Linny, what’s the first one?

Lyndsey: Anger. Angerness.

Billi: Literally the first, obviously the top of our list. How often do you feel anger, Lyndsey?

Lyndsey: Oh, now that depends on if Cameron’s around or if my children are around or if my dog’s barking like a moron. Lots of times during the day. There’s frustration, anger, but not like, I want to freaking kill someone.

Billi: Do you want to know when anger happens, Lyndsey? When you experience some type of injustice. Makes you feel threatened, trapped, unable to defend yourself. Or, when your husband and children are around annoying you.

Now, many people think of anger as a negative thing, but it’s a normal emotion that can help you know when a situation has become toxic.

Like my husband, who is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Very chill, very cool, calm, and collected. So he doesn’t get angry very often. I think he’s one of those people who thinks that anger is a bad emotion. Anytime anything makes him angry, he kind of tries to avoid it. Anyway, don’t avoid it. It’s fine. It’s totally normal.

Lyndsey: You need to let it out. And I’ve always said if something or someone’s bugging you, you need to just get it out.

Billi: I don’t know how to get it out. I think that’s another thing that’s a real problem for me. I’m a massive people-pleaser. I will do anything to bend over backwards for you. To my own detriment.

Okay. What’s another emotion? Go, Linny.

Lyndsey: Sadness.

Billi: Sadness is my favourite one from Inside Out, the movie. Everybody feels sad from time to time.

Lyndsey: Do we need to go over it? Like, we know.

Billi: Yes. It’s an article. I’m emotional. Let’s talk about it. When you’re sad, you might describe yourself as feeling lonely, heartbroken, gloomy. I think out of this whole list, I just feel gloomy for a really long time. And I don’t know why.

Lyndsey: I mean, in all seriousness, that sadness could develop into depression, right?

Billi: It’s not that bad though…

Lyndsey: Not necessarily for you, but for people, that’s a really bad emotion to keep an eye on.

Billi: A hundred per cent. You’re so right. It’s something that can spiral very quickly and you should definitely talk about it.

It says here, do something meaningful. Like helping others or connecting with people, which you don’t want to do when you’re sad.

Lyndsey: I was gonna say that would be the hardest time to do something like that when you’re sad. You don’t want to do that.

Billi: No, but if you’re starting to fall into some sort of depression, it’s almost like you have to recognize it and you have to act on it.

All right. Go Linny. You’re two for two.

Lyndsey: Happy?

Billi: Enjoyment. It feels good. You feel close and connected to people and you feel safe and secure. You’re absorbed in activity. Oh, you’re doing something that triggers sensory pleasure. Like a massage. A massage makes me feel happy.

That’s three. We’ve got two more. What have you got? Have we run out of emotions?

Lyndsey: I don’t know. Happy, sad, angry, um, scared.

Billi: Fear! Lyndsey! Get it, girl!

Lyndsey: I went to college for two whole years.

Billi: She did. That’s true. And look how far it got us. She went to college because she wasn’t fearful. Fear happens when you sense any type of threat. Depending on that perceived threat, fear can range from mild to severe. And obviously fear also creates anxiety. I think that’s a big one that you also have to be worried about. So whereas sadness will lead to depression, fear will lead to anxiety.

It’s not like a fear of clowns, although that could probably give you anxiety too.

Lyndsey: Oh, it’s a real thing.

Billi: How can you overcome your fear? Confront it instead of avoiding it. Distract yourself, which I think is not good, maybe, I mean, maybe if you’re overthinking your fear, I don’t know. And consider your fear logically. Just think it out.

And last one, you’re not going to get unless you’ve seen the movie. This one I really liked because I’m going to tell you how to overcome this.

Disgust. That is one of the emotions.

Lyndsey: Disgust? That’s an emotion?

Billi: Yes. Like that face you’re making right now. That is disgust. So here’s how you can overcome being disgusted.

Lyndsey: Be around people that don’t disgust you…?

Billi: Practice compassion, Lyndsey. Cause I feel like if any emotion is most prominent in Lyndsey, it’s probably disgust.

It’s common to feel uncomfortable with facing things you don’t understand. So just be nice. And this one is hilarious. Expose yourself slowly. So some things may turn your stomach no matter what. Maybe you can’t stand any type of creepy crawly creature, but you wish to try gardening to get over your disgust for worms.

You might start by reading about them and looking at pictures of them. If you worry about getting them on your hands, you could wear gardening gloves.

Lyndsey: Who wrote this article?

Billi: I just love that because honestly, I’m disgusted by creepy crawlies. Anytime Henry watches David Attenborough, a lot of it will be creepy crawlies on TV. And when he does watch it, I always want to turn it off. So the idea of me getting my hands into a bunch of worms and creepy crawlies? I would rather be happily disgusted.

How are your emotions now?

After that fascinating shallow dip into the world of emotions, Lyndsey can confirm that she is indeed left frustrated by the topic, and since frustration wasn’t on the list, we can only assume it’s one of the other 27 emotions we didn’t cover today.

We hope we leave you in better spirits and wishing you an amazing weekend ahead! Catch us again next Friday, here on The Nightly.