LATIKA M BOURKE: Congrats Anthony Albanese, your backyard wedding was a quiet step forward for progressivism

Anthony Albanese’s weekend wedding was a masterclass in understatement, taste and dignity, and an important step forward for modern politics.

The Prime Minister had spent much of his first term talking a little too much for his colleagues’ liking about his second shot at love in his down-to-earth and thoroughly likeable now wife Jodie Haydon.

Endless discussions about the role his supportive pet friend Toto would play in the wedding caused many to roll their eyes and wish for a change of subject.

It was not that anyone begrudged the 62-year-old his happiness, far from it. It was just that fighting Toto for headline space was not the battle they felt they needed to be having during a cost-of-living crisis.

The Prime Minister got the message. He stopped putting his marriage front and centre and only commented when asked, as was often the case during one of his many preferred soft FM interviews.

Then he went into Top Secret mode and, incredibly, managed to successfully keep the date of the Big Day under wraps, underlining the trust he had in his guests.

There were no official invitations issued; only calls. For some, the invite came via a call from the prime minister made about six weeks ago, and others via his aide.

Expectations were for a December wedding, so the late November, post-Parliamentary nuptials were a well-executed surprise. At no stage were the preparations, speculation about the dress or guest list rammed down colleagues’ or the public’s throat, and as a result, there is only one thing to say: “Congratulations mate, wish you both well and bloody hell, you both scrubbed up alright!”

If any Australian has a reason to begrudge the Prime Minister using the backyard at The Lodge as his wedding venue, they need more in their life to complain about.

As Prime Minister, it is his home, and for anyone who has ever stepped foot inside the 1920s building, it is comfortable and dignified, but hardly the luxury some might expect a world leader to live in.

Opposition Leader Sussan Ley was spot on when asked by Sky News if she was happy with the event being held at The Lodge.

“Yes, I am okay with it being at the Lodge,” she said emphatically.

“I wish Anthony and Jodie every happiness … as they continue to build their life together.”

The Prime Minister could easily have opted for a lavish wedding. But small, intimate and real was always his and Jodie’s vibe. They managed to look classy and restrained at the same time, and their wedding party reflected their relaxed style.

Guests ate canapes, drank excellent wine and sat at tables of their choice after loading up at a bistro buffet. The Prime Minister and his new wife, Jodie, did the rounds, stopping by each table.

The footage does not lie. Both bride and groom looked sensationally happy as they wed, surrounded by their closest friends. Move aside MAFs, this is what an authentic wedding looks like on screen.

The modest affair concealed the history made. Mr Albanese is the first Australian Prime Minister to marry in office.

It is a credit to Australia and the country’s tolerant approach that this is totally unremarkable. There are no religious expectations, judgements or impositions on the Prime Minister coming from the public, church, media or his political opponents.

Ideally, it contributes to better overall public acceptance of politicians who do not fit the married-with-children mould, a conformity that politicians and their political dirt units are often the worst offenders at imposing on their rivals and opponents.

Happily, Mr Albanese’s post-divorce relationship has been warmly accepted by the public, not that it was ever really a problem or should have been, given that Australians are inherently decent and live-and-let-live people.

But it is hard to deny that it was a factor that affected Julia Gillard, who, a decade before Mr Albanese, also lived in The Lodge with an unmarried partner.

It remains an open question as to whether Australia’s next unmarried Prime Minister could propose and marry while in the job with as little fuss if they were a woman.

Given Julia Gillard’s example, it is tempting to reach for a negative answer, but her case study was particularly unique as her relationship with her now-ex and disgraced boyfriend Tim Matheison was part of her overall struggle to establish an authentic connection with the public.

This is something that the football-loving, hoodie-wearing, DJing-Albo has never needed to reckon with.

It is noteworthy that the other world leader to recently remarry while in office is another male with a knockabout reputation — Britain’s Boris Johnson.

Mr Johnson, a father of nine children to three mothers, married his wife Carrie in 2021, like Albanese, in total secrecy and surrounded by even fewer friends and family — around 30, compared to Albanese’s 80.

He was the first British Prime Minister to marry in office in more than 200 years.

Mr Johnson, a serial philanderer, is certainly no poster boy for making marriage vows, however frequently he makes them.

But his private life mattered little to voters who were more offended by what they saw as a trashing of the pandemic rules when gatherings and parties were held in Downing Street during lockdown than his extra-marital affairs.

Having accompanied MPs and candidates canvassing British voters during two election campaigns, Mr Johnson’s personal life vis-à-vis his affairs was only ever endorsed, if it was ever raised on the doorsteps.

Prime Ministerial marriages like Mr Albanese’s and Mr Johnson’s will hopefully open the door to seeing more unmarried men and women in high office, as well as more women and men who feel confident to put their names forward and say they are gay or lesbian and do not feel a fear or compulsion to hide behind family photos on Christmas cards to feel electorally viable.

In the noughties, Australia’s marriage rate sat at around 7. It’s now 5.5. Divorces have decreased from a rate of 3.4 to 2.1 last year.

With fewer people getting married, getting married older when they do and living together longer before walking down the aisle, we should expect to see more unorthodox relationships in our politicians.

And we should celebrate them when we do because the quality and diversity of our leaders will only be enhanced if candidates feel that their imperfect and failed relationships will not be an albatross or ammunition to be played out in the media.

Mr Albanese’s wedding has made headlines around the world, with world leaders including India’s Hindu nationalist Prime Minister Narendra Modi, Canada’s Labour leader Mark Carney, and the President of Kosovo all turning to their social media accounts to congratulate him and Jodie.

It is a terrific projection of what people overseas think Australians predominately are — easygoing.

Having perfectly hit the right tone with his discreet and toned-down wedding, Anthony Albanese has successfully navigated a public divorce, dating and now marriage in office with the public’s good wishes.

It is a good example of how when progressives opt for quiet dignified actions, they can be far more effective in moving the dial forward.