Divorce parties: Events at al all-time high for celebrating ‘one of the bravest choices’ divorcees have made

Two weeks after Beth Levine filed for divorce she invited 30 of her friends to one of her favorite Houston bars. The celebration theme was “Beth isn’t married anymore f–k yeah!”

Ms Levine, a 53-year-old executive assistant, tied the knot in 2014 and broke the union a little less than two years later.

For a slew of Lifetime movie-like reasons – infidelity, secret children, green cards, and her own general unhappiness – she knew she didn’t want to be married to her then-husband anymore.

While the decision to leave was difficult, the action itself was liberating, she says. That’s why she wanted to throw a “divorce party.”

“Filing for divorce is an act of freedom,” Ms Levine says.

“Why should I not celebrate one of the bravest choices I’ve ever made for myself?”

Divorce party invites reached an all time high last year, according to data from Evite.

The increase signals that more people are recognizing and even cherishing non-traditional milestones, says Olivia Pollock, Evite’s party data analyst.

“The trend highlights a shift towards using celebrations to transform life transitions into positive experiences,” Ms Pollock says.

It’s not just divorces. Americans are throwing parties for paying off debt, breast reductions, vasectomies, and other major life events. This is likely contributing to the 5 per cent increase in all celebrations Evite has seen this year.

“Just like we celebrate weddings, birthdays, and anniversaries, it makes sense that divorce is being recognized and celebrated, too,” Pollock says.

It also helps that divorce holds less stigma than it once did. And why not have a little fun for a process that costs, on average, more than $11,000?

‘Divorce is more commonly accepted as a natural life event’

American views on both marriage and divorce have become less rigid. More than half, 55 per cent, of adults say couples stay in bad marriages too long, according to data from Pew Research Center.

Marriage itself has also lost some of its allure: 71 per cent of adults say that having a job or career you enjoy is important to having a fulfilling life, according to data from Pew Research Center. Only 23 per cent say the same of marriage.

“Nowadays, divorce is more commonly accepted as a natural life event, and people are looking for positive ways to mark the end of a marriage,” Ms Pollock says.

It is mainly women who throw divorce parties, according to Evite data.

Ms Levine feels as though societal pressure corners women into unsuccessful marriages.

“Women are more likely to stay in a situation that isn’t great for them,” she says.

“They are so scared of a failed marriage. You leave jobs if you’re unhappy. You wouldn’t stay in a restaurant and eat rotten steak to make someone happy. It’s OK to walk away.”

The societal assumption that ending a marriage is terrible often doesn’t resonate with the people actually doing it, says Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver.

“There is a narrative in our culture that divorce is this shameful thing and the reality is that is not true,” Ms Bobby says.

“Many people experience it as a very, very positive thing that is associated with their freedom and ability to be empowered and have the life they want.”

Divorce parties can signal to others that this is a decision you take pride in.

“When you have a party to celebrate the fact that you are getting a divorce you are sending a powerful message to the world and yourself saying, ‘I am so excited about this,’” Ms Bobby says.

‘It was incredibly therapeutic’

Because separations drum up a range of emotions, divorce parties can sour quickly. That’s why Ms Levine set out a roster of rules to ensure she and her guests had a good time.

These included don’t bring up the ex, you can drink but don’t get too drunk, and pick a bar that you don’t associate with your former spouse.

“I relied on my best friend to spread the vibe that I don’t want to talk about unpleasantness, and if you want to bring a gift that’s cool because I deserve some,” Ms Levine says.

She threw the party not only to commemorate the end of an unhealthy partnership but to thank the community of people who helped her navigate a tough situation.

“It was also to celebrate all my friends for still liking me after listening to all this crap for months,” she says.

“They had a front-row seat and were like, ‘Oh my god, please leave this person.’ It wasn’t just for me, it was for everyone around me.”

While she doesn’t want to get married again, Levine says she would not hesitate to throw another divorce party: “It was incredibly therapeutic.”