DANE ELDRIDGE: Time for an investigation into loss of Roosters freak Mark Nawaqanitawase to rugby union money

Mark Nawaqanitawase has not only clocked rugby league in two seasons, he’s done it making the absurd look like folding tea-towels.

And after thrilling our pants off with his feats for the Sydney Roosters, the box-office superstar has us teased with the possibility of new and unimaginable stratospheres in kinky wing play.

So why the bloody hell is he leaving for rugby union?

Prior to Sunday night’s grand final, Nawaqanitawase’s defection to the rival code was already a crime against rugby league.

But after signing off with a two-try performance at Accor Stadium to leave a typically freakish lasting memory, the thought of the 26 year old catching a cold on the wing in the 15-man code is now more than an uncomfortable regret, it should warrant a Royal Commission.

Nawaqanitawase has become widely adored in his short stint at the Roosters thanks chiefly to the kinda witchcraft that’d seen him burnt at the stake in the town square in the 1500’s.

Since joining in the latter stages of 2024, the former Wallaby has dominated in the air, on the ground and in the fourth dimension, with his weekly habit of eclipsing his own viral highlights making him less a winger and more a counter-factualist.

Such is his Hollywood appeal, you could speculate the NRL opted against a pre-match concert for Sunday purely to avoid the risk of having the spotlight stolen by Nawaqanitawase warming up at the same time.

Add an NRL premiership to his highlight reel alongside a State of Origin series win and a Kangaroos jersey, and it’s barely fathomable how much he’s packed in to two years.

But after making enormous strides since arriving at the Roosters with his “arms painted on” because he “could not tackle” according to coach Trent Robinson, Nawaqanitawase has smoke-bombed out of our lives as briskly as he arrived.

Losing superstars like the former Waratah to the filthy lucre of rival codes is an unfortunate byproduct of the salary cap era and its aim of talent equalisation.

And to be fair, if handing over a winger to rugby union helps the Wests Tigers be less of an embarrassment, then so be it.

But while the extra money he’ll earn in rugby cannot be prevented, its inescapable that losing such a turnstile-clicking force is a blow to the NRL and its chest-beating about being the nation’s premier code.

Sure, Nawaqanitawase is such an imperious force that whatever the Roosters were paying him was never going to be enough.

So this conjures the question; whatever happened to the NRL’s famous War Chest?

Essentially a blank cheque from head office for wantaway talent, the concept introduced by former CEO David Smith was designed to insure the game had the financial lever outside the salary cap to never lose a player it wanted to keep.

But after being slammed as vague and prone to exploitation, the concept was never used before dying a modest death under the tutelage of Todd Greenberg in 2016.

But even though it was arbitrary, inherently unfair and outrageous leverage for dodgy player agents, you’d wager the game would love to call upon it right now for the wing sensation.

While the War Chest would’ve never been intended to be used on something as dispensable as an outside back, the modern winger has become as critical to rugby league as the halfback position.

But even in an era when they’re relied upon for yardage, air raids and finishing, only all-action thundercats like Wendell Sailor and Semi Radradra have single-handedly disrupted the algorithmic prison of rugby league like Nawaqanitawase.

That’s why if the NRL had its war chest it would’ve surely converted its contents to Yen and tipped it over Nawaqanitawase long ago like a bucket of victory Gatorade.

Like most things, Nawaqanitawase will serve his time in union before likely returning to rugby league, probably for the Roosters and probably on another suspiciously excellent deal for the club.

And while the game will march on regardless and some new sexy freak will replace the beloved entertainer, something tells us this time the mark left behind will be more indelible and painful than most.