Are You Lonesome Tonight? Why being alone is good for mental health and how solitude boosts your brain

We’re constantly told to make the most of our time, to work harder, to stop procrastinating. But what if that advice was all wrong, and letting the brain rest and the mind wander could improve our lives?

Guided by my research as a neuroscientist and driven by my family’s toxic relationship with work, I started to explore the neuroscience of alone time and rest — and what I discovered was extraordinary.

Cognitively speaking, solitude can boost creativity by offering the necessary space for ideas to flourish. Whether it’s writing, playing the piano, painting, gardening, praying or meditating, being alone is often what the brain needs to perform these activities well.

In these moments of isolation, the default network is busy forging new synaptic connections, strengthening our skills and ability to absorb new information, and nurturing our creativity more effectively.

Many of the world’s most successful and intelligent people preferred to be alone. It’s a ritual observed by Bill Gates, for example.

Twice a year in the early days of Microsoft, the billionaire philanthropist would retreat to a cabin for a week with nothing but a stack of books for company. He called it “Think Week” — a period for reflection, learning and uninterrupted thoughts. No outside visitors were allowed, including family and employees. During one week, according to The Wall Street Journal, the work he did led to the launch of Internet Explorer in 1995.

Solitude is also useful for those moments when you feel stuck.

Leonardo da Vinci was a contemplative genius, reportedly staring at The Last Supper for hours before adding a single brushstroke and walking away.

How to harness solitude

There’s no definitive guide on the perfect amount of solitude.

But, as a general rule, the more time you can spend alone — especially when you really feel like being alone — the better it will be for your brain.

There’s no definitive guide on the perfect amount of solitude. But, as a general rule, the more time you can spend alone — especially when you really feel like being alone — the better it will be for your brain.

1. Just go

Planning a solo trip or retreat can seem daunting at first, with concerns about loneliness or boredom creeping in.

But the act of stepping away from your daily routine and immersing yourself in a new environment can be incredibly liberating. It forces you out of your comfort zone, stimulates your senses in unexpected ways, and provides the perfect backdrop for introspection and creativity.

2. Start small

Begin with as little as ten minutes of solitude per day. Find a quiet spot where you can be undisturbed, and use this time to simply sit and breathe. This small step can help ease the brain into a state of relaxation and begin the process of activating the default network.

3. Be selective about your social time

Ensure that when you do socialise, it’s meaningful, good-quality socialising. Many of us spend time with people we shouldn’t — bad friends, frenemies, a toxic family member — but we do it because we feel obliged to.

This raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain, which damages our social circuitry and harms the good-quality relationships we should be enjoying.

4. Reflect and reassess

Use part of your solitude time to reflect on your experiences and feelings. This could involve meditating on your thoughts or even writing them down. The act of reflection helps in processing emotions and thoughts, allowing for a deeper understanding of yourself.

5. Engage in solo activities

Do things that are made to be done alone and that encourage mindfulness, such as walking, journalling, or practising yoga. These activities not only provide the benefits of solitude but also help in grounding you in the present moment — further relaxing the brain.

Joseph Jebelli received a PhD in neuroscience from University College London, then worked as a postdoctoral research fellow at the University of Washington. He is the author of several books, including In Pursuit of Memory: The Fight Against Alzheimer’s and The Brain at Rest: How the Art and Science of Doing Nothing Can Improve Your Life.