MICHAEL USHER: Where you sit means everything on Logies night as we celebrate stars of Aussie TV

I’m going to leave the heavy lifting of the weighty topics to my colleagues in other columns today, so something a little lighter. Musings, if you like, about the business where I mostly hang my hat when not writing here, and that is the world of television.

This Sunday evening, the who’s who of TV — or current who’s who, and maybe a few has-beens — will fill Sydney’s Star Casino’s grand ballroom to honour the best in the biz.

If Australia had a truly great society or fame writer, they would be in clover at the Logies. The tawdry tabloid gossip versions of the night will dish up the usual slosh of network wars and naughty antics, but what they’ll miss are the side-eyes, table seating, and power politics. The great American writer Dominic Dunne thrived in these sorts of rooms filled with showbiz, power and fame. His columns for Vanity Fair were both loathed and loved but he knew how to study the who’s who and work out who was doing what to whom, both professionally and otherwise.

But I digress. My experience at these nights is far more PG, although as a break from my non-TV life of Uber Dad, part-time cook, and driver of the washing machine, the opportunity to embarrass myself on the post-Logies dancefloor was seized with some vigour last year and a bit too late for my liking.

The Logies are however very Australian and should be celebrated. Equivalent British awards are so boring and worthy. The American version which I guess is the Emmy’s is a conga line of celebrities with a cause. Our television night of nights is a room full of strange bedfellows and it’s brilliant because of it.

Gardening shows square off with serious news teams. Feuding couples from reality TV jealously stare down Home and Away stars. Worthy reporters nominated for war zone stories pose on the red carpet alongside the happy creators of Bluey. The energised sports commentators don’t quite know what to make of sarcastic squints from the ABC comedy shows. Network stylists size up their rivals, to see which channel still has budget for new frocks or has worked some magic with thrifty recycling.

It’s all very Australian. An egalitarian night. Doesn’t matter if you’re up for a Gold Logie, or you helped Marry a Farmer or threw a glass of rose at your new husband, everyone shuffles into the one room to celebrate Australian TV.

When you’re in the room, it’s a little less egalitarian. That’s when you realise your seat at the table defines your place in the sometimes-ruthless business. Table on the second tier, halfway up the room, dim lighting, no cameras pointed your way — these are the tell-tale signs a Logie may not be coming your way. The middle tables are most fun. In sight of the camera, more lighting, no network executive seated next to you, louder and more rowdy network stars. This tier means there may be a Logie coming your way, but unlikely. You’re here because this lot will knock back more wines earlier, be better company and will clap and holler the loudest. Lots of atmosphere for the night, excellent colour cutaways for the broadcast, not a strong chance of a Logie.

Then there are the tables on the flat flooring at the front of the room. This is Logies land. Multiple past winners. Hungry new nominees. Some surprised to be there and just stoked they’re sitting among people who they’d quietly liked to ask for a selfie and still can’t believe they work in the same business, somehow. Some tried and true stars who’ve been around the TV block a few times and sat through these nights since Bert Newton and Graham Kennedy were the kings of this night.

There’s a difference at these tables, versus the tiers behind. That unknown face at the table in the broadcast cutaways is either the actual TV genius behind these shows — the Executive Producer or Producer — or they’re the network bosses who pay the wages of the nominees and scrutinise every cent spent on them. Lots of joy on these tables if a Logie comes your way, or some long-term career pain if you’ve gone out early on the chardonnays and have that frank conversation with said network boss, telling them at the table with Dutch courage what you really think about their decisions, instead of saving it for a closed-door meeting on Monday morning.

Truth is, my take on all this aside, there will be some sobriety about the Logies this year. In some respects, it has not been a great year for any of the networks, and a party as such will not be viewed kindly by some.

That won’t stop good people from being honoured for their talent, hard work and good old-fashioned star power. It may be an old-fashioned business, doing its best to get nimble and adapt, but tens of millions of Australians every day still tune in at various times to be entertained. I’ve always loved working in TV, and Australia is a great place to work in TV. This year it’s a buzz to be nominated — my first time for an individual Logie as alleged best news presenter. There’s a link somewhere I’m told — but I wouldn’t be so crass to put that in this piece of The Nightly real estate (disclaimer: our publicity team might).

Editor’s note: You can vote for Michael Usher here.