DANE ELDRIDGE: How the Penrith Panthers sucked us all in as the four-peat machine to do it again
Only a handful of weeks ago, the four-peat bullies had sucked the rest of the competition in to believing this year’s premiership race was actually wide open.
The binary nature of internet discourse is you’re either the GOAT or a fraud and there’s nothing in between except the dying wails of good sense.
The Penrith Panthers have been a rare exception to this model, with their era of liberty-depriving domination transcending the hyperbole to lay genuine claims to Greatest of All Time status.
But this season they’ve flipped the script and now they’re the fraud.
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By continuing you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.Only a handful of weeks ago, the four-peat bullies had sucked the rest of the competition in to believing this year’s premiership race was actually wide open.
After scorching to premiership favoritism in the early rounds, the champion side had the death wobbles after back-to-back losses to the Roosters and Warriors and a post-Origin stretch of only three wins from eight games.
Then, once inspirational skipper Isaah Yeo succumbed to a long-term pec injury, their campaign was dead on the slab.
In rock parlance, if Nathan Cleary is Mick Jagger then Yeo is the unsung presence that maintains the side’s rhythm, much like Ronnie Wood or the guy who supplied his special meds.
Without their leader, the Panthers suddenly looked gooey in the ruck and a shadow of their best in offense, with Cleary especially dulled after assigning himself more extra responsibilities than Scott Morrison on a secret ministerial portfolio spree.
And while their muscle memory has always been enough to account for the NRL’s amoebas, critics agreed that without Yeo a grand final for the Mountain Men would’ve been bridge too far.
But in the blink of an afternoon, Penrith’s woes have been exposed as a ruse.
While the Tigers would struggle to give the Beacon Hill subbies a run for their money these days, Penrith’s 38-10 win over the hapless joint venture on Sunday secured more than two competition points and a minor premiership, it sent a message to the rest of the competition to sort out its affairs because shit’s about to get real again.
In tandem with the timely comeback of hooker Mitch Kenny, Yeo miraculously returned from injury well ahead of schedule to churn out 54 minutes when he should’ve still been in a sling and a hyperbaric chamber.
Better yet for Panthers fans, their returns have occurred when the rest of the top eight is so conveniently busted it looks like the starting grid at Daytona in a tyre shortage.
The Roosters have fallen off a cliff, the Warriors are leaking points and the Knights would be a puncher’s chance if they weren’t on the bones of their backside.
As for the rest, nobody rates the Cowboys, Souths are too scatty, the Dolphins are too virginal and the Sharks are a shapeless mess trapped in their own heads.
And further deepening the futility? Ivan Cleary’s masterful ability to motivate.
Whatever the situation, the coach can foster so many chips on a shoulder that the shoulder becomes more chip than a shoulder.
Whether exploiting the ‘Final Ride’ narrative to punish rival clubs for poaching all their talent or the ‘Undisputed’ campaign to silence naysayers that didn’t exist, Cleary can light a faux fire under his squad’s backside with anything from an inspirational theme to contrived victimhood.
And despite achieving so much they have literally nothing to be motivated for, this year will be no different.
Not only will they be focused on warehousing another title before the coach departs at the end of next season, plus avenging the abject shame of only qualifying for a preliminary final last year, the Panthers could also tick off the niche accomplishment of winning homeless.
One unique circumstance lost among Penrith’s recent success is the fact ‘home’ has been on the couch 35kms up the M4.
Scaling the summit while waiting for their new home ground to be constructed — all while living out of a suitcase in their bitter rivals’ stadium in Parramatta — will be another spur for a side that should’ve run out of spurs long ago.
Despite frauding us otherwise, it’s shaping again for these genuine GOATS to pick up another Provan-Summons trophy like it’s a carton of milk from the servo.
