DANE ELDRIDGE: The Brisbane Broncos like the Liberal Party have been living on past glories
The Broncos abysmal season has so far been fortuitously shielded behind the woeful Newcastle Knights, Lachie Galvin, and more recently, Lachie Galvin’s haircut.
But after slumping to six defeats from their last seven matches, the only way they’ll avoid the spotlight now is if Phil Gould fronts a press conference with an emo fringe.
The Queensland club is cratering after the weekend’s disastrous 34-6 collapse to Manly, a fourth straight defeat that has stirred up more questions over whether their slump is temporal or existential.
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By continuing you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.A premium rugby league brand with a bankroll as enormous as its own self-reverence, the Brisbane Broncos believe winning premierships is like waiting for the kettle to boil - and fair enough too.
After collecting seven trophies in its first 19 years of existence, you can’t blame an organisation for setting impatient expectations nor for sniffing its own armpits and describing it as potpourri.
But after winning nothing since 2006 - except a pre-season challenge and a few court settlements - its glory years are being re-zoned as an aberration rather than a watermark.
After threatening to monopolise the competition with its farm system of talent and immense corporate oomph, the Broncos are now a failing powerhouse surviving on past glories much like Manchester United and the Liberal Party.
Usually there’s empathy when something old and fragile like this has fallen and can’t get up - even if it’s due to the weight of its own purse.
But not in the case of a blue ribbon basketcase like the Broncos.

Not only are pundits lining up to sink in the boot - Greg Alexander acknowledged the players’ plight on SEN with “Cry me a river, you little wusses” - even animal activists are getting in on the act.
You know it’s grim when PETA are slamming the club over its treatment of beloved mascot Buck the Bronco, even though forcing a horse to watch them play each week arguably qualifies as animal cruelty.
But why the lack of compassion for the flagship Queensland team?
It’s not just because they callously trounced the rest of the competition for years with a squad overspilling with Origin players, but also because its current playing group is an unrelatable bunch too preoccupied with hot-dogging down High Street and drooling over their own reflection.
Whether it’s snubbing basic road safety like Ezra Mam, punching mates on social media like Reece Walsh or just bagging your coach on a podcast like Selwyn Cobbo, this playing group has the collective pituitary gland of a 15-year-old-boy with the house to himself.
It’s the sole reason the board hired Michael Maguire, the tough-as-teak coach renowned for instilling pride in the jersey and spinach in to iron-deficient attitudes.
But despite a healthy start, the only cultural blow landed on his watch has been an attempt to harden up the group by sacking Martin Taupau for liking an instagram post.
Signed last October for his headmaster qualities - and because he’d just rolled Queensland in a decider - Maguire usually addresses a club’s ails by putting it through a time trial until it vomits carrot.
And after thrashing the Roosters in round one, everyone believed this side had finally matured to something that wouldn’t respond to adversity by getting punched to crumbs like a packet of dry noodles.
But fast forward 10 weeks and Maguire is wading through the same juvenile debacles that entombed the cursed tenure of Kevin Walters.
Already the cookie-cutter whispers are emerging from the playing group about the coach’s methods, with faceless spokesmen predictably unhappy with his training style probably because it doesn’t involve enough X-Box.
But just ask predecessors like Walters, Anthony Seibold and Anthony Griffin, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re rejected at Brisbane for being either too tough, too soft or not Wayne Bennett.
But while player power at the Broncos is usually appeased with a new coach and a contract payout, this time around their decision to down tools in protest could cost them more dearly than ever.
Come November 1, Payne Haas is free to negotiate with rival clubs- and rumours are already emerging the unsinkable prop is contemplating playing somewhere else alongside blokes who can handle being yelled at.
Put simply, the Broncos are still a brand of envious prominence - but these days, it’s got nothing to do with winning competitions and posting profits.
It’s because there’s something titillating about witnessing an imperious empire be decimated, especially when it’s by kicking stones and abusing smartphones.