MARK ‘SPUDD’ CARROLL: Nathan Cleary’s Panthers were sublime but NRL needs to ditch the night time grand final

I’ve just returned to my office after conducting a serious review of the NRL season over an ice cold Spudd Wiser.

Peter V’landys, you’re welcome.

THE GOOD

PENRITH PANTHERS

What a privilege to watch this team.

Four straight premierships – no club has achieved that since the 1960s.

When you think of all the stars they have lost over the past five years, it’s a remarkable achievement.

STATE OF ORIGIN

The juggernaut just rolls on and on – and it was even better this year with the mighty Blues taking out the series.

To get 90,000 fans to Game Two at the MCG – AFL heartland – tells you what a massive event this has become.

WINGERS

I used to describe wingers as blokes who hung around footy players, but not anymore.

I love watching them contort their bodies in mid-air to score in the corner. Xavier Coates scored a try for the Storm early in the season that still has me shaking my head.

These guys could all represent their countries in acrobatics.

PLAYER WELFARE

As an old player who took a plenty of head knocks in his career, I’m so relieved to see the steps the NRL is taking to look after its players.

Any sign of head trauma is dealt with swiftly, unlike our days when we were pulled to our feet and sent back into battle.

THE BAD

MILKING

Players rolling around on the ground trying to get a penalty is making a mockery of our great game.

The NRL needs to crack down on this or pretty soon we’ll be a laughing stock like soccer.

The way to fix it, is any player who stays down claiming to be hit high must automatically go off for a 15 minute assessment.

And if a player jumps to his feet after getting a penalty and winks or laughs, the match review committee must charge him with contrary conduct.

NIGHT GRAND FINALS

I played in the era of day-time grand finals, and they were sensational.

I understand why broadcasters wanted to switch to nights, but I reckon it’s time we went back.

The AFL continues to have enormous success with afternoon grand finals.

The NRL decider finishes way too late – almost 10pm. By the time the Panthers took celebrations back to Penrith, there’s no way any young fans could have stayed up to be part of it.

That’s why I believe the NRL should kick off the biggest game of the year at 5pm.

PLAY-THE-BALLS

This has become an embarrassment.

I’m sick of watching the ruck turn into tunnel-ball. Seriously, it’s like touch footy these days. Blokes get tackled then just roll the ball between their legs, or step over it.

You’re supposed to use your foot. Why is that so bloody hard for referees to police??

Fix it.

KICK-OFF HYSTERIA

This constant talk about scrapping the kick-off is driving me mad.

Concussions can happen at any stage of the game, not just the kick-off.

The NRL simply cannot replace it with a tap or a gentle drop-kick.

The only change I would be willing to make, is a rule that states whoever catches the ball has to run it. That would mean they can no longer pass it to a giant front rower coming in off the back fence.

I reckon that would see fewer heavy impacts and – hopefully – less blokes getting KO’d.

THE BUNKER

We need greater consistency with decision-making, and the only way to do that is to have the same people in there.

Stop the revolving door and have a dedicated crew for the Bunker every week. Get legendary old referee Bill Harrigan in there to oversee things.

THE UGLY

WESTS TIGERS

Seriously when is this mob going to get their act together?

In this salary cap era where every club can spend the same as each other, to finish in last-place three years running is mind-boggling.

Apparently, you can’t even open the cutlery drawer in their new Centre of Excellence because there’s too many damn wooden spoons in there!

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED

The GWS Giants are finally getting some publicity in their hometown of Sydney – but it’s all bad.

Footy clubs – in all codes - need to have a serious re-think on how they celebrate the end-of-season.

Some of the costumes and skits allegedly performed by the Giants were just ridiculous.

I’m amazed a club allows this to happen without ticking it off first.

Why do players need to dress up anyway? Sex dolls and Twin Towers – seriously?

When we won the comp at Manly in 1996, we went to The Steyne Hotel and celebrated the old-fashioned way – with a few hard-earned beers!

The only shenanigans were some impromptu haircuts.

Des Hasler and I were quite fond of our locks so when we turned up and saw the boys with the clippers – we took off.

I still remember Des and I tearing down The Corso with half a dozen teammates in hot pursuit with a buzzing hair clipper!