THE FRONT DORE: This has to be AI: Meet the online character known as Clementine Ford

If ever there were an argument for why AI should be banned, immediately, the existence and the popularity of the fake social media accounts under the name of this insane fictional character called “Clementine Ford” is the most compelling.

Like Patrick Bateman without the charm or the body count, this online persona presents for all purposes as an actual person, the likeness to a human is incredible, but is obviously created by a combination of magnificent deep fake technology and a crafty yet warped, wayward and grotesque mind intent on causing chaos by convincing vulnerable and naive followers that she’s real and her polemic politics and vile vituperative rants are serious. Open the pod bay doors, Hal. This is sinister and scary stuff.

It is so absurdly asinine but balls-out brilliantly conceived it’s hard to tell whether this character, “Clementine Ford”, is comic genius, mocking the worst in human behaviour through mimicry, or downright dangerous because it’s so real that unwitting fans and followers end up falling victim to the joke, and begin mimicking her mockery.

She’s fake, but they end up being real. Before the internet, Bret Easton Ellis’s American Pyscho was so dark and devilishly detailed that censors feared it would become the bible of the deranged. So, like he did with his bodies, they wrapped the book in plastic. It wasn’t until Christian Bale brought Bateman to life years later that the simpletons among us realised his murderous internal monologue was narrating lascivious fantasies and lurid delusions, an indulgent literary deceit masquerading as unadulterated pointless horror.

The danger with being oh so clever and trying to prove a point by holding a mirror up to a broken, bewildered and bedazzled society is the audience misses the point and falls in love with the reflection.

All hell breaks loose when the imposter becomes the messiah.

Like Max Headroom, the original 1980s AI creation, the first computer-generated TV presenter, is the “Clementine Ford” character creating the genre or making fun of it?

The set up is perfect.

Clementine Ford. she/her. Author. Writer. Chaos witch. Skincare enthusiast. #freepalestine

245K followers are so here for this. The Clem Bot follows Guardian Australia, ABC News, AlboMP and Mehreen Faruqi. As well as Unionists for Palestine, Students for Palestine, Darebin for Palestine, Queers for Palestine, Agent Cooper himself from Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan, Menzies for Palestine, CPSU4Palestine (RIP Prince), the Matildas and Annie Lennox. Among others. You get the idea.

It’s unclear when this character first became aware of Palestine, but there is no question she’s all about it now. Clem4Palestine. And why not. She’s white, she’s privileged, she lives in Melbourne, rides a scooter, wears a pink helmet, she’s got a platform and she will be heard.

It’s very clear what demographic this character is tapping into. Brilliant. How did someone not think of this before October 7?

Being new to this site, it’s not immediately apparent what “Clementine Ford” is really interested in other than Palestine.

This is surface level analysis, but other than from Israel, she also seems to be angry at men. Violent men. Aside from violent men, who isn’t though, right? Maybe she’s for Men of Palestine, but CIS Men of Melbourne, not so much.

“A woman is someone who statistically is probably someone who has been assaulted by a man in her lifetime and also lives in fear generally of a man killing her because statistically that is the biggest predator that she faces,” she says in one of her recent posts.

On the predator scale, statistically, it’s also very unlikely that in her lifetime a woman will be confronted by a lion, a bear or a crocodile, so for as long as humans have killed other humans, men will, statistically, be the apex killers. Of lions, bears and crocodiles as well.

Nevertheless, “Clementine Ford” is confronting, passionate and brutal. Her delivery is compelling. It’s hard to watch, and hard to turn off. That’s powerful.

Does this style of advocacy make bad men so uncomfortable they rewire their twisted brains and become less violent towards women? Does it make good men so outraged and emboldened they step up and drive undesirable men among them to change? Does it drive awareness and action? Or does Clementine Ford’s degenerative doggerel polarise and make women hate men, girls fear boys? Discuss.

This character is heavy on the sarcasm, and deeply committed to anger. She’s angry. Really angry. There are a lot of dickheads about, predators everywhere, and also a host of a-holes to rage about.

Like JK Rowling. She made “a billion dollars on a badly written, to be honest, franchise” who sits in her “obnoxious castle harassing trans-women”. To many, the Harry Potter author is a genius, and an old-school feminist. To “Clementine Ford” she’s a “dumb c..t”. An “evil”, “actual f...ing ogre”, a “disgusting”, “scumbag” “transphobic c...t”.

For those confused by the complex character arc, there is an explainer. In fact, it’s her dating app summary, “that will tell you a lot”.

“Clementine Ford” is a “Writer. Dreamer. Wine drinker … Swiftie. Lover. Fighter. . .. “

“My content covers everything from feminism and politics to beauty products and hair styling. I think of my page as a glorious salon where people can rage about politics AND share their favourite moisturiser…. My favourite colour is pink and I love fashion and make up.”

Love.

“Some non-negotiables: I will not tolerate racism, homophobia, transphobia or ableism … no body shaming, face shaming, slut shaming.”

Again. Love. Ground Rules.

This is beautiful.

Time to frolic in this happy place. Let’s play.

Hang on, there’s a catch. If you’re Jewish and you don’t hate Israel, well, let’s just bring the love back a notch.

If you identify as a Jewish person in Elsternwick … “You’re a f...ing monster, a genocidal maniac and no” … wait for it… “your state does not deserve to exist.”

“So no, Israel does not have a right to exist and if it once did, which it didn’t, it has proven beyond all doubt that it absolutely no longer has that right.”

What a character.

Sadly, AI, for all its faults, could never be that dumb.