Prince Harry tells Melbourne summit he didn’t want royal role after Princess Diana’s death

Prince Harry has revealed he once didn’t want to continue life as a royal, admitting the death of his mother, Princess Diana, left him questioning his future.

Speaking during a keynote address in Melbourne as part of his trip to Australia, the Duke of Sussex opened up about the emotional toll of growing up in the spotlight following Princess Diana’s death in 1997, describing how grief shaped his outlook on duty, identity and mental health.

Reflecting on the years after losing his mother just before his 13th birthday, Harry said the experience left him resistant to the path expected of him.

“I was like, ‘I don’t want this job. I don’t want this role — wherever this is headed, I don’t like it,’ ” he said.

“It killed my mum and I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years. Eventually, I realised, well, hang on, if there was somebody else in this position, how would they be making the most of this platform and this ability and the resources that come with it to make a difference in the world?”

“And also, what would my mum want me to do? And that really changed my own perspective.”

Prince Harry made the candid comments while addressing leaders at the InterEdge Summit, which focused on mental health in the workplace. During the 19-minute speech, he acknowledged that despite outward appearances, he has continued to navigate the same emotional challenges many people face, People reported.

“When I was invited to speak at this summit, I wasn’t sure whether I was expected to speak as someone who, despite everything, has their sh.t together. Or as someone who, despite what it may look like, actually doesn’t have his sh.t together.”

“But I was struck by something quite simple — that while my experiences may be unusual, the feelings that come with them are not.”

Prince Harry said grief had long-lasting effects, particularly when experienced publicly at a young age.

“In my experience, loss is disorienting at any age,” he said.

“Grief does not disappear because we ignore it. Experiencing that as a kid while in a goldfish bowl under constant surveillance, yes, that will have its challenges. And without purpose, it can break you.”

“There have been many times when I’ve felt overwhelmed,” he continued.

“Times when I’ve felt lost, betrayed, or completely powerless. Times when the pressure – externally and internally — felt constant. And times when, despite everything going on, I still had to show up pretending everything was okay, so as not to let anyone down.”

“For many years, I was numb to it, and perhaps that was easier then, but I also didn’t yet have the tools to deal with it.”

Afghanistan and rebuilding resilience

Prince Harry said his experiences in the military, including two tours of Afghanistan, helped him build resilience and better understand the importance of addressing emotional struggles rather than suppressing them.

He also credited becoming a husband and father to Prince Archie, 6, and Princess Lilibet, 4, with helping him reframe his approach to mental health and responsibility.

“When a parent is overwhelmed, children feel it. When someone is supported, families feel it,” he said.

“For me, one of the biggest shifts came when I realised that asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s very much a form of strength.”

Prince Harry added that working through unresolved trauma became a priority as he prepared for parenthood.

“Certainly from a therapy standpoint, you want to be the best version of yourself for your kids,” he said.

“And I knew that I had stuff from the past that I needed to deal with and therefore, prepare myself to basically cleanse myself of the past.”

If you or someone you know needs help, phone SANE Australia Helpline on 1800 18 SANE (7263).

Young people seeking support can phone beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or go to headspace.org.au.