Adelaide mother speaks up about her son’s bullying at Reynella East College and reveals the devastating way she will remember forever

The recent spate of bullying incidents across Adelaide has prompted a heartbroken mother – still grieving the loss of her teenage son — to urge SA authorities to take mental health more seriously.

Three years ago Sally Daff’s son Jayden took his own life at the age of 16 after relentless bullying at Reynella East College. The college was last week embroiled in a separate bullying allegation from a mother who claimed her daughter’s hair had been set on fire.

Daff said the system had let her son down and warned too many students were slipping through the cracks.

“Who’s there for them?” Daff told 7NEWS in an exclusive interview. “No one.”

On the day of his death, on February 28, 2022, Daff said Jayden was reluctant to go to school, instead asking to stay home.

Jayden had already asked his mother to leave school completely to instead study a trade.

“I thought he was actually doing homework,” Daff said.

“But he was writing suicide notes to the family.”

After letting Jayden stay home for the day, Daff returned from work to find her son’s door closed. The family had an open door policy, which immediately triggered her concern.

Inside his room, Jayden had tragically taken his own life.

Despite the best efforts of Jayden’s family and emergency services, he couldn’t be saved, dying just weeks into the new school year.

“I did CPR on him (despite) looking at him and knowing already that it was too late,” Daff said.

Jayden had been bullied relentlessly for more than 18 months before he took his own life, a situation his mother says she desperately tried to fix.

Prior to his death, Daff had even approached her son’s bullies and asked them to stop.

She also reached out to Reynella East College and asked them to address the bullying, and begged Headspace, a mental health organisation for young people, to help save her son.

“What do we have to do, home school our kid to know that they’re safe?” Daff told 7NEWS.

“It’s just not good enough.

“School is not a safe place for your kids.”

Daff said while Reynella East had provided a “safe space” for Jayden — a segregated courtyard usually meant for junior school children — this did little to help his battle with mental health.

“You think you’re doing the right thing, you get into trouble if they don’t go to school. He (Jayden) wasn’t going to school and the whole time the school was on my case, ‘he’s got to go to school, he’s got to go to school’,” she said.

“But who wants to go to school and face that every day?

“The bullies told him ‘You should kill yourself’ and all of this sort of stuff.

“(Children) will take their own lives if they’re not protected.”

Remembering Jayden

Daff, still a proud mother, remembers the kind-hearted, quiet boy who liked to joke around and make his friends and family happy.

“He would do anything to make people laugh,” she said.

His sister, Alisha Thon-Daff said she was extremely close to her brother and that he told her everything.

“Before all of this bullying, he was the life of the party, he was the happiest teenager and out to make people happy, she said.

Alisha recounted a moment from their childhood when she was upset about not getting a particular present for her birthday. Jayden, to cheer her up, put on a dress and wig and launched into a show for her.

“He wanted everyone to be happy,” she said.

“When the bullying started, you could see that same spark dropping.

“He still did his best, he didn’t want to be a nuisance, he didn’t want to be a downer on anybody.”

Alisha said her brothers’ death was preventable, and the family did everything they could, including constantly checking on Jayden during the night.

“We did everything we could to prevent it, everything in our power, we were all on suicide watch,” she said.

“We made sure he was never alone, sitting with him for hours on end ... But it started getting a bit beyond what we could do. We turned to the professionals, multiple places, and in three separate places, he was let down. (His death could’ve been) quite easily prevented if he had received support from those three places.”

Both Alisha and her mother decided to remember Jayden in a devastating way, getting the “I love you” he wrote in his suicide notes tattooed on their skin forever so they can have a piece of him with them no matter where they are.

Mental health system failed to protect Jayden

Daff claimed on one occasion she took Jayden to a hospital after he self-harmed and was denied a mental health assessment.

She also claimed Headspace had failed to provide the necessary help after Jayden rang the helpline but failed to receive a promised “welfare check” call-back.

“They (the hospital) patched (him up) and sent him on his way. They didn’t do a mental health assessment, none of that,” she claimed.

“We tried to get him into Headspace, he did have a one-on-one, face-to-face appointment. They did say ‘yes, you just have to go onto the waiting list. In the meantime, if you’re struggling, and you need to talk to someone you can ring the emergency helpline’.

“We got him an appointment (with Headspace) a few weeks before he took his own life.

“They were supposed to follow up, but didn’t. They realised after. They ‘let him slip through the cracks’ is what they said. They probably won’t own up to that now.”

Alisha said she doesn’t condone the behaviour of a St Paul’s mother who was filmed screaming and threatening children at the Adelaide school, but doesn’t blame her for the outburst if the school failed to protect her daughter.

The St Paul’s mother was caught on film hurling a tirade of abuse at teen students and threatening to “slit the throat” of one of her daughter’s alleged bullies.

In the video, which went viral on social media, the mother could be heard threatening to harm a student, yelling “I’m your worst f***ing nightmare”.

“The support is just... it doesn’t exist,” Alisha said.

“In a way, I stand by her. If everybody else is letting your kid down, she could’ve just saved her daughter’s life.”

Daff said until the system takes mental health – especially when it involves bullying – more seriously, more young lives will be needlessly lost.

“I just feel like when it comes to mental health and teenagers, people aren’t serious enough about it,” Daff said.

“They will take their own lives if they’re not protected and helped.

“It all comes back to bullying.”

SA Health responds to claim nothing was done

In a response to 7NEWS’ inquiry about Daff’s claims, the SA Health Department offered its condolences and said it had referred Jayden to get private help.

“Our sincere condolences go to Jayden’s family. This is a tragic situation,” they said.

“Jayden presented to the Flinders Medical Centre on May 10, 2021, where he was assessed, and treatment was provided by the ED medical team.

“An initial treatment plan was put in place and an urgent referral was made to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS), which is overseen by the Women’s and Children’s Health Network.

“The CAMHS team contacted Jayden the following day, and liaised with his family, with an agreed safety plan. In line with his mental health assessment, Jayden was referred to a private psychologist with no wait list.”

The South Australian Education Department was contacted for comment.

If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For further information about depression, contact beyondblue on 1300 224 636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.