Steven Lin: Ex-wife of dentist shot dead by police at Potts Point posts heartbreaking letter about secret life

The estranged wife of a high-profile Sydney dentist who was shot dead by police after allegedly attacking two women has spoken publicly for the first time, detailing a relationship marked by betrayal, secrecy and abuse.

Steven Lin, 41, died on March 3 after a confrontation with police inside a Potts Point apartment complex.

Emergency services were called to the building on St Neot Avenue about 10.50am following reports a man armed with a knife had attacked two women inside a unit.

Officers attempted to subdue Lin with a taser, but when that failed, a police officer discharged a firearm. Lin was later declared dead at the scene.

The two women were taken to the hospital with injuries believed to be non-life-threatening.

Weeks after his death, Lin’s former partner, Cassandra, who separated from him in 2023, has shared a deeply personal letter, describing both the love they once shared and the events that led to the breakdown of their relationship.

“Dear Steven, I never imagined I would be writing you a letter like this,” she wrote in a post shared to Instagram.

“I always thought if we grew old together, the words I’d say to you would be over a kitchen table, or whispered across a pillow, not spoken out loud to a room full of people who loved you.”

She described the early days of their relationship as a time of stability and connection.

“When I met you, something in me settled. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had found peace... like I had finally found home,” she wrote.

“You weren’t just the man I loved, I thought you were my soulmate, the person I believed I would walk beside for the rest of my life.”

The couple built a life together and had five children, which Cassandra said was the “greatest part” of their relationship.

“We had it all,” she wrote. “And the greatest part of that life was becoming parents.

“Watching you become a father is something I will always treasure. Our children were the apple of your eye. You loved them fiercely, proudly, completely.

“The way you looked at them, with wonder, with joy, is something I will carry with me forever. In those moments, our little family felt whole and unbreakable.”

But she said that sense of stability eventually unravelled.

“The truth is that my world came crashing down when I discovered the life you had been living behind my back,” she wrote.

“The affairs. The secrets. The abuse. The child you fathered that I knew nothing about.

“It shattered the trust I had placed in you and the future I thought we were building together. The pain of that betrayal is something I’m still learning how to carry.”

Cassandra said Lin’s death had left her grappling with complicated emotions.

“Standing here today, I’m reminded that people are never just the worst thing they’ve done, nor only the best,” she wrote.

“You were complicated. You were flawed. You made choices that hurt me deeply and changed our lives forever.

“I had to stand back and let you fight your secret war. A war which you lost in the end.”

She reflected on the conflicting memories she holds of the man she once loved.

“The man who gave me our children. The man who, for a time, made me feel safe and at home in this world. And those truths exist side by side.”

Lin, once known as a prominent dental nutritionist and author, had faced a series of legal issues in the months before his death.

He had recently appeared before Wollongong Local Court over allegations he assaulted a sex worker and stole cash, charges that were ultimately dismissed when the complainant did not attend court.

Court documents also outlined a history of alleged violent offending, including assault and choking-related matters, as well as multiple breaches of court orders.

Family members told the ABC Lin’s life had deteriorated following his separation, including struggles with drug use and his withdrawal from the dental business he once led.

Despite everything, Cassandra said her focus now remains on their children.

“So today, instead of trying to untangle all of that, I want to say this to you: I promise that I will take care of our children with everything I have,” she wrote.

“I will guide them, protect them, and love them in the way we always dreamed they would be loved.

“I will tell them stories about you, about the parts of you that made them laugh, the parts that made you their dad, the parts of you that live on in them.”

“Your story doesn’t end here, because it lives on in them,” she wrote.

“And while our path together didn’t end the way either of us imagined, I will carry forward the responsibility we began together, raising the beautiful children we brought into this world.

“Goodbye Steven, until we meet again.”

In a separate Instagram story shared on Friday morning, just days after her initial statement, she posted a video of Steven singing to their baby while playing guitar, alongside the caption: “If only I knew then what I know now. Would I have done things differently? Oddly I still can’t find a reasonable answer to that yet.”