Woman finds husband’s WhatsApp Messages: ‘Stuck in a miserable marriage’ and ‘she can keep my son’

There are certain things in a marriage that feel impossible to come back from — and for one woman, this may just be one of them.

Taking to Mumsnet.com, the woman shared her heartbreak after planning a milestone birthday party for her husband, only to stumble across a string of cruel and devastating messages that exposed his apparent resentment toward their marriage.

She explained she had been using her husband’s phone to retrieve contact numbers for the surprise celebration when she opened a WhatsApp group chat with his close mates, uncovering a series of shocking messages.

According to her post, the husband referred to himself as being “stuck in this marriage,” adding that he “wished he could have an affair, but she will take all my money and I wouldn’t have anywhere to live.”

The devastating comments didn’t end there.

The husband continued, “She can keep my son, I just want to keep my money,” to which his friends responded with support, describing the situation as a “lose-lose.”

One even added, “It wouldn’t be so bad if you split up.”

Adding further insult, the woman described how the group chat was filled with disrespectful comments about “hot mum friends,” romanticising about ex-girlfriends, and sharing photos her husband had secretly taken of strangers he found attractive.

“It’s all really demeaning and disrespectful to me,” she wrote.

As the shock set in, she admitted she continued scrolling through his messages, uncovering even more disturbing content, including lies her husband had allegedly spread to paint her in a negative light.

Despite being a stay-at-home mother for five years, she discovered he frequently complained to friends about her being “lazy,” “useless,” and implied she wasn’t contributing financially to their household.

“For context,” she explained, “I’ve been a stay-at-home mum for five years since my son was born, mainly because we moved abroad for my husband’s job to a location where my career doesn’t exist.

She continued, “There was a lack of childcare until my son started preschool last September. During that time, I learned the local language, passed the language test, went back to university, retrained, and now I’m working again — soon to be full-time.”

Their son, who is autistic (high-functioning), also requires intensive care, with the woman explaining, “He won’t go anywhere with my husband without me—not to school, the park, anywhere. He only wants to be around me, so it’s a lot.”

Reflecting on the situation, she said, “I just feel so down about it all. Like I’ve been holding a lot for such a long time at home, and this feels like the biggest betrayal. It’s so personal.”

“My confidence has been really low for a while, and I was so excited and proud to have found a good job in a tough job market.

Now I feel like he’s diminished me and made me feel worthless — and then all of his friends have jumped in and collectively agreed that being with me must be the worst option.”

The woman revealed she has kept the discovery to herself for three weeks while planning her next move, admitting she has decided to leave the marriage.

“I don’t think there’s any coming back from this,” she concluded.

She added that she has not yet confronted her husband, partly because she accessed his phone without permission.

In the comments, readers flooded the post with support and advice, with one user writing:

“As you say, everything now is about leaving this nasty piece of work. Seek legal advice and detach emotionally from this creep.”

Another commented, “I’m so sorry, that’s horrendous. I hope you took photos of the messages. You’re doing the right thing, though it must be so hard to act normally around him”.