Rumours movie review: A strange political comedy that could mean everything and nothing at the same time

Rumours is a weird movie. It’s also a very specific movie whose sense of humour relies on the esoterica of global diplomacy.

At times genuinely funny and at times confounding, Rumours doesn’t indulge audiences by diluting its eccentricity. It doesn’t seem to be interested in broad appeal, you’re either going to vibe with it or you’re not, and a lot of people aren’t going to.

It may even lead to the question, “I don’t get it… is this movie dumb or am I dumb?”.

Rumours is directed by Canadian filmmakers Guy Maddin, Guy Johnson and Galen Johnson, who are all - Maddin, in particular - known for making quirky films. Expecting Maddin and the Johnsons to do something more broadly appealing would be like hiring David Lynch for a Disney cartoon.

Rumours stars Cate Blanchett, Charles Dance, Takehiro Hira, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Roy Dupuis, Denis Menochet and Rolando Ravello as leaders of G7, the intergovernmental political and economic group that consists of Germany, the US, Japan, the UK, Canada, France and Italy.

They are in Dankerode, a village in Germany, gathered for the affairs of state. Isolated under a gazebo in the woods adjacent to a country estate, the seven leaders are trying to draft a statement concerning a vague “current conflict”.

They don’t get much “work” done, but the exchange reveals their past histories with each other - UK PM Dewindt (Amuka-Bird) seems to have had, at some point, a fling with Maxime (Dupuis), the Canadian PM who is prone to bursts of great emotion that usually results in him running off.

The US president, Edison (Dance), has an unexplained British accent and is very, very tired of it all while the Italian leader, Antonio (Ravello), squirrels away deli meats in his pockets.

The fog sets in, no one can get a phone signal and it appears as if everyone else in the world has vanished, including the catering staff that were tending to their whims.

Trekking through the woods, they encounter bog people, a giant glowing brain and Celestine (Alicia Vikander), the secretary-general of the European Commission, who now only speaks Swedish and is enthralled to some mythical being’s coming.

Rumours can be very funny in part, such as when they’re trying to work out what language Celestine is speaking, excitedly suggesting dead, ancient ones such as Sumerian instead of going for something more obvious.

They’re probably not subscribers to Occam’s Razor but then after seeing a giant pulsing brain in the woods, you probably wouldn’t be either.

Rumours is not outright a political satire and while the leaders of its world are not the people you want in an apocalyptic crisis, they also seem relatively harmless compared to some real-world counterparts.

It’s generally well-intended ineptitude. But it does pose questions about leadership in general, and the people we rely on to make the trains run on time – they’re shockingly human, just like the rest of us.

The film is loose and sometimes feels as if it’s also lost in the metaphorical woods of structured storytelling. It spends a lot of time just ambling, as if it’s a hang-out movie with no urgency. Curious choice for an apocalypse.

It might even just be trolling us all as its careers towards an operatic climax that could mean everything and nothing at the same time.

Rating: 3/5

Rumours is in cinemas